Pie Chart

Band 6+: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing online sales for retail sectors in Australia between 2013 and 2018. In 2013: Electronics & Appliances (35%), Food & Beverage (22%), Home Furnishings (25%), Video Games (18%). In 2018: Electronics & Appliances (30%), Food & Beverage (32%), Home Furnishings (23%), Video Games (15%).

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This pie chart shows the online sale percentages for retail sectors in Australia between the years 2013 and 2018.

In 2013, the sales for electronics and appliances was 35%, however over the 5 upcoming years this retail sector hit a new low were it reached 30% in 2018. Moreover, in 2013 food and beverages sector was 22%, however it unexpectedly achieved an additional 10% reaching 32% in its overall sales in 2018.

Home furnishing although being decently popular in 2013 with sales of around 25% have unfortunately decreased by 10% in 2018 to 15%. On the other hand, video games have taken a huge leap in their sales over the 5 years starting at 18% in 2013 and increasing to 23% in 2018.

Overall, in 2013 achieving the highest online shopping sales was the electronics and appliances sector, but sadly its rate fell in 2018 placing this sector in the second place while beeing replaced in 1st place by food and beverages whose online sales rate had risen in the past 5 years successfully.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 6

years: 4

sector: 4

online: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between the two years. There are a few inaccuracies in the data reported, such as the change in Home Furnishings and Video Games sectors, and some minor language errors. To improve, ensure data accuracy and proofread carefully.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the flow could be improved. The organization of information is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between ideas are not always smooth. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, and ensure a logical progression of ideas. For example, use transition words like 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' or 'furthermore' to clarify the relationships between different sectors and time periods. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more precise and varied. There are instances of somewhat informal language (e.g., 'hit a new low,' 'decently popular,' 'huge leap'). Try to use more formal and specific vocabulary to describe the trends and data. For example, instead of 'hit a new low,' you could say 'decreased to its lowest point.' Instead of 'huge leap', you could say 'increased significantly'. Expanding your range of vocabulary will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect word usage ('were' instead of 'where,' 'beeing' instead of 'being'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Home furnishing although being decently popular in 2013 with sales of around 25% have unfortunately decreased by 10% in 2018 to 15%' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures accurately and proofread carefully to eliminate grammatical errors. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of prepositions and conjunctions.

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Band 6+: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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