Pie Chart

Band 7+: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing online sales for retail sectors in Australia between 2013 and 2018. In 2013: Electronics & Appliances (35%), Food & Beverage (22%), Home Furnishings (25%), Video Games (18%). In 2018: Electronics & Appliances (30%), Food & Beverage (32%), Home Furnishings (23%), Video Games (15%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The charts provide data on alterations in online trading rates for retailing in five-year period since 2013 in Australia.

Overall, the leading figures in pie charts changed throughout the period. Electronics and appliences remained one of the mainly saled products by 2018, along with food and beverages.

To embark with, electronic tools were the most popular product, standing at 35% in 2013. Second major figures were home furniture and food with drinks, accounting for 25% and 22% respectively. And finally, the least purchased items were video games, with 18% of all sales in the beginning of the period.

5 years later, electronics and appliences declined to 30%, giving up their position to food and beverage, which accounted for slightly more, namely 32%. Video games’ rate also increased to 23%, becoming the third most demanded product in the market. As for home furnishing, it stood at 15% by 2018, serving as the least necessary items.

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs detailing the data, and an attempt at an overview. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., video games' rate also increased to 23%) and some minor omissions. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider including more specific comparisons between the two years. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and presents a clear overview of the data. However, transitions between some sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow. For example, the shift from the overall statement to the detailed description of 2013 could be more clearly linked. Consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas and improve the logical progression of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. However, there's room to enhance the range and precision of word choices. For instance, instead of 'mainly saled products,' consider using 'primary sales categories' or 'leading product sectors.' Explore synonyms and more specific terms to describe the trends and data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'Electronics and appliences remained one of the mainly saled products' has subject-verb agreement and word choice issues. Also, 'Video games' rate also increased to 23%' contains awkward phrasing. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct these errors.

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