Pie Chart

Band 4+: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for the retail sectors in Australia in 2013 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing online sales for retail sectors in Australia between 2013 and 2018. In 2013: Electronics & Appliances (35%), Food & Beverage (22%), Home Furnishings (25%), Video Games (18%). In 2018: Electronics & Appliances (30%), Food & Beverage (32%), Home Furnishings (23%), Video Games (15%).

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The pie charts illustriates differents in 2013 and 2018 in the online Australian’s shopping sales for four retail sectors .

Overall, in 2013 electronics and appilances was dominant sector, whereas video game was the least to the online sales in country. In comprassion, in 2016 the food and beverage bacame the largest segment and the lowest home fumishings.

The electronics and appilances accounted for 35% in 2013 and it is slightly decreased by 5% in 2016. The sector of home fumishings stood 25% at the start of period, however at the end it is declaned to 15%.

The food and beverage at first year represents 22%, even so by the second year it is bacame the leading retail sectors. The video game were the lowest sector accounted only 18% in 2013, insted in 2016 it is incresed to 23%.

Word Count: 139

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task and identifies some key features, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with clarity. To improve, ensure data is accurately represented and focus on clear and precise language. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not presented in a coherent manner, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The introduction and overview could be improved to provide a clearer sense of the report's purpose and main points. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information effectively. Consider using cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of incorrect word choice and a limited range of vocabulary. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends, proportions, and comparisons. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Pay attention to the correct usage of words in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in punctuation. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a language tutor.

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