Process Diagram

Band 6+: Writing Process: Olive oil Đề bài: The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

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Image for topic: Writing Process: Olive oil Đề bài: The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

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The image depicts the production process of olive oil: starts with 1. Picking; proceeds to 2. Rinsing with cold water; then 3. Smashing using a belt; results in olive paste and olive stones; continues with olive paste placed in 4. Bag with holes; goes through 5. Pressing; leads to 6. Separating oil from water; concludes at 7. Storage and sale.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram outlines the process through which olive oil is produced. In total, there are 7 steps involved in the linear process of producing olive oil.

Overall, the production process can be divided into 2 main stages, beginning with the preparation of the olive paste, ending by the production of pure olive oil and dispatch. Notably, the process is complex one, requiring special machines and human labor.

The first stage commences when olives are harvested and picked by people. They are collected from trees,from where collect and deliver to the rinsing process done by machine through cold water. With the help of the putting on the belt, olives get rid of impurities and then be smashed. Once smashed, a machine gives two products; olive paste and olive stones.

The final stage takes place in a manufacturing facility. Here, olive pastes would be stored into bags with holes.Next, the bags were pressed by machine and separated from the oil and water. Finally, oil is packed in bottles for storage and sale in the market.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

olive: 7

process: 5

machine: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately describes the olive oil production process, covering all the key stages. The organization is logical, with a clear division into stages. However, the language could be more precise and sophisticated, and there are some minor grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using more varied vocabulary and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents a clear overview of the olive oil production process. However, the organization into two main stages could be more clearly defined and consistently followed throughout the description. Transitions between steps could be smoother to enhance the flow of information. For example, explicitly linking the end of one stage to the beginning of the next would improve coherence. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but could be refined to better reflect the logical progression of the process.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the process, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Consider using more specific terms related to olive oil production to demonstrate a better command of the subject matter. For instance, instead of 'special machines,' you could specify the types of machinery used. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, expanding the range would enhance the report's quality.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Issues such as incorrect verb tenses ('collect and deliver'), awkward phrasing ('With the help of the putting on the belt'), and subject-verb agreement problems ('olive pastes would be stored') need attention. Correcting these errors and ensuring consistent grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the report's readability and credibility. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures accurately to enhance the overall grammatical quality.

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