Bar Chart

Band 5+: Writing Task 1 The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021.

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Image for topic: Writing Task 1 The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021.

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The image presents a bar graph titled "Cigarette smokers in the UK," depicting data from 2011 to 2021. For men, the number of people smoking in millions is: 4.3 (2011), 4.0 (2012), 4.1 (2013), 3.8 (2014), 3.5 (2015), 3.4 (2016), 3.3 (2017), 3.2 (2018), 3.1 (2019), 3.0 (2020), 2.9 (2021). For women, the data are: 3.2 (2011), 3.0 (2012), 2.9 (2013), 2.7 (2014), 2.5 (2015), 2.4 (2016), 2.3 (2017), 2.1 (2018), 2.0 (2019), 1.9 (2020), 1.8 (2021).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart displays data about numbers of cigarette smokers in England, Wales, Scotland and Northen Ireland from 2011 to 2021.

Overall, figures of smokers of both males and females showed a significant decrease over the entire period of time, while more men smoked cigarettes than women during all the recorded years.

Male smokers made up the highest number overall in 2011, with just above four million, and then this figure dramatically declined, with just around 2.5 million smoking male in 2013. However, these figures climbed gradually in the next two years, with nearly three millions, and then they hovered between nearly 2.5 and just around 2.7 million from 2016 and 2019. Moreover, there was a slight decrease over the last two years at just above a million smokers in 2021.

Female smoking numbers were just above three millions in 2011, and then this sharply dropped, with just under one million in 2013. Therefore, numbers of women smokers fluctuated slightly between around a million and just above one and half a million during the next five years. Finally, the figures displayed a steady fall until the end of the period with just around seven hundred thousand woman in the last year.

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 7

smokers: 5

above: 4

around: 4

numbers: 3

figures: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by identifying the general trend (a decrease in smokers for both genders) and comparing the two groups. However, there is a significant issue with data accuracy. The report provides figures that deviate drastically from the provided visual description (e.g., reporting around 2.5 million men in 2013 when the data shows 4.1 million, and reporting around 700,000 women in 2021 when the data shows 1.8 million). While the examiner is lenient with AI-generated descriptions, the internal consistency of the report is compromised by these large numerical errors, which misrepresent the trends described. To improve, ensure that the data cited directly supports the trends mentioned and that the numbers accurately reflect the scale shown in the visual information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by the use of incorrect cohesive devices. For example, 'Therefore' is used to show a result, but the sentence following it describes a trend, not a consequence. To improve, ensure that transition words (e.g., 'Subsequently', 'Following this', 'In contrast') accurately reflect the logical relationship between your sentences.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a variety of terms to describe trends (e.g., 'dramatically declined', 'hovered', 'steady fall'). However, there are several errors in word choice and formation, such as 'smoking male' instead of 'male smokers' and 'woman' instead of 'women'. Additionally, there is some repetition in phrasing. Aim to use more precise noun phrases and ensure subject-verb agreement when discussing groups of people.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede clarity. Issues include incorrect pluralization (e.g., 'three millions', 'seven hundred thousand woman'), article usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'figures of smokers of both males and females'). Focus on mastering countability (million/millions) and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound to improve the overall flow and professionalism of the report.

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