Band 5+: WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

The report addresses the task by describing the bar chart and making some comparisons between the two groups and time periods. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., cities for people born in Australia in 1995 is stated as 45% instead of 50%, and rural areas for people born in Australia in 1995 is stated as 45% instead of 30%). The report also omits key data points, such as the exact percentages for towns and rural areas in 2010 for both groups. The structure is somewhat disorganized, and the language contains grammatical errors and unclear phrasing (e.g., 'people were born inside and outside Australia where live in urban,rural and town'). To improve, focus on accurately reporting the main features, using clear comparisons, and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Organize the report logically, perhaps by comparing the two groups or the two years systematically. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

The report has a logical structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'cities ranked first to people were born inside and outside Australia' is awkward and unclear. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are run-ons or lack clear connections. To improve, use clearer topic sentences, ensure each paragraph has a central idea, and use a range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'overall') to guide the reader. Also, avoid repeating the same information and ensure that comparisons are clearly signaled.

The vocabulary is adequate but limited in range and precision. There are several word choice errors (e.g., 'initally' for 'initially', 'Austrailia' for 'Australia', 'keep' for 'kept') and some phrases are not natural (e.g., 'cities ranked first to people'). To improve, use a wider range of synonyms (e.g., 'proportion', 'percentage', 'figure'), precise verbs (e.g., 'accounted for', 'constituted', 'rose', 'declined'), and ensure correct spelling. Also, avoid informal or incorrect expressions and aim for more sophisticated and accurate lexical choices.

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people were born' should be 'people who were born'), missing articles (e.g., 'the bar chart' is missing 'the'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'initally was' should be 'initially was'), and punctuation errors (e.g., missing spaces after commas). The sentence structures are mostly simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., relative clauses, conditionals), ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for punctuation and spelling. Focus on accuracy to make the report more readable and professional.