Letter

Band 6+: You are a member of an International Students' club. The club is organising an event to celebrate popular food from around the world. Write a letter to the event organiser, Luis. In your letter: offer to make a popular dish from your country describe what this dish is explain why it should be included in the event

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Dear Mr Luis,

I am Josh, a member of the Chelsea international students Club, with registration number 52412234 . I am writing to show my willingness to include my jollof rice dish into the upcoming event based on popular foods of numerous nations.

As you are the organiser of the event, I would like to participate in making a smoked jollof rice. Primarily, it is one of the most popular dishes in my nation and particularly most of the fitness trainers suggest it to their trainees. I can prepare this within 1 hour for more than 20 people.

This dish contains ingredients like parboiled rice, tomato paste, fresh tomatoes, red bell peppers, bay leaves, onions and butter. Moreover, this dish will surprise everyone as no other dish can beat it in its taste and will leave a long-lasting impact on people.

I think this dish can be presented at this event as it is a cost effective traditionally cooker based Nigerian dish which anyone can prepare at home. Additionally, I am the only candidate to represent my country so it will be a great opportunity for me if you allow me to serve my dish.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Josh

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

event: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately covers all requirements of the task, offering to make a dish, describing it, and explaining why it should be included. The content is relevant and sufficiently detailed. Minor improvements could be made to enhance the flow and coherence of ideas, such as varying sentence structure and using more sophisticated linking words. Also, pay attention to register; while generally appropriate, there are a few instances where the tone could be more formal or precise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping related ideas together more explicitly. For example, you could dedicate a paragraph solely to describing the dish and its ingredients before explaining why it should be included. Transition words could also be used more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. However, there's room to enhance the lexical resource by using more varied and precise language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'popular,' try synonyms like 'renowned,' 'well-loved,' or 'celebrated.' Also, consider using more descriptive adjectives to enhance the reader's understanding and interest in the dish.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical errors are present and affect clarity in several places. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage ('a,' 'an,' 'the'). Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall accuracy and readability of your writing. For example, 'cooker based' should be 'cooked' or 'cooking based'.

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