Letter

Band 4+: You are applying for a membership at a local gym. Write a letter to the gym manager expressing your interest. You should include: - why you want to join the gym - what your fitness goals are - any previous experience with gyms or fitness activities.

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Dear gym manager,

I found your incredible gym on the internet and i really enjoy it!

I want to join the gym as soon as i can because sport is my main hobby from all of my life and in your gym there are more exercise equipments which i have never seen before.That’s exciting and i think that your gym will help me fulfill my dream.

I was interested in sports from my childhood.At first it was swimming from the age of four,i took a part in competitions and got many awards,then i tried box and football.These kinds of sport i liked most of all,but however it happened a really terrible accident when i was eleven.As usual i had boxing competition,everything was fine,but suddenly i took my leg in the wrong position and it was the most painful thing which i felt.Futhermore i fainted and the latest memory was in the hospital.That was the last case when i did sports because my coach and doctors banned my physical activities for 5 years.I was so disappointed as sport is the best thing which i enjoyed.

Nowadays i’m seventeen and i got the official permission to do sports.Now i want to get in shape in the gym and then go to the box club again.

When i was a little child i went to the gym with my father too as before the strong physical activities like a box,i must got muscles and endurance.Of course i have only great memories from the gym as i was so strong willed and did all exercises delightfully.

I hope that now i will repeat my success from childhood and your gym help me with this aim.

See you soon,

Sofa

Word Count: 285

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sport: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the requirements of the task, explaining the reasons for wanting to join the gym, fitness goals, and previous experience. However, there are some areas where the response could be improved. The narrative about the accident, while personal, could be more concise to maintain focus on the gym application. To improve, ensure all points are addressed directly and succinctly, avoiding unnecessary detail that detracts from the main purpose of the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The narrative about the accident, while personal, somewhat overshadows the primary purpose of expressing interest in joining the gym and outlining fitness goals. Consider streamlining the letter to focus more directly on the reasons for joining, fitness goals, and relevant past experiences. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to separate distinct ideas and improve readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances where more precise or varied language could enhance the letter. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'sports,' consider incorporating synonyms like 'physical activities,' 'exercise,' or 'fitness pursuits.' Expanding the range of vocabulary would make the letter more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is often complex but contains errors, and there are issues with verb tense consistency and word choice. Focus on using a mix of simple and complex sentences, ensuring each is grammatically sound. Proofreading carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage will improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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Band 4+: You are applying for a membership at a local gym. Write a letter to the gym manager expressing your interest. You should include: - why you want to join the gym - what your fitness goals are - any previous experience with gyms or fitness activities.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You are applying for a membership at a local gym. Write a letter to the gym manager expressing your interest. You should include: – why you want to join the gym – what your fitness goals are – any previous experience with gyms or fitness activities.

You are applying for a membership at a local gym. Write a letter to the gym manager expressing your interest. You should include: – why you want to join the gym – what your fitness goals are – any previous experience with gyms or fitness activities.

You are applying for a membership at a local gym. Write a letter to the gym manager expressing your interest. You should include: – why you want to join the gym – what your fitness goals are – any previous experience with gyms or fitness activities.

You are applying for a membership at a local gym. Write a letter to the gym manager expressing your interest. You should include: – why you want to join the gym – what your fitness goals are – any previous experience with gyms or fitness activities.

You are applying for a membership at a local gym. Write a letter to the gym manager expressing your interest. You should include: – why you want to join the gym – what your fitness goals are – any previous experience with gyms or fitness activities.

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You recently received a gift from your friend for your birthday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • Thank them for the gift • Explain why you liked it • Tell them how you plan to use it

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