Letter

Band 6+: you are going to another country to study you would like to do part time job while you are studying so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. wrie a letter to this friend give details of your study plans esplain why you want to get a part time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

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Dear James,

How are you? It’s been a long time since we met and getting together. Actually, I need your help that is why I am writing you.

I enrolled for a short course near in your area. My course will take 1-year and my class will be 3-days in a week that would be Monday, Wednesday and Friday 8am – 12pm.

I need a part-time a job that can augment to the money in my bank account as I need to pay my tuition and other expenses such as flat rentals and groceries because if I will do not find a part-time job my money in the bank would last for 7 months.

I am thinking that you might help me to find job in the fabrication company where you are working now as I know how to use power tools like grinder and drills. Also, thee hourly rate there would be enough for me to sustain all my needs during my schooling.

I hoping that you would be able to help me as soon as possible since my school will already start in 2 months.

Regards,

Vincent

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately covers all requirements of the task, providing relevant details about the writer's plans, reasons for needing a part-time job, and suggestions for how the friend can help. There are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, but they do not significantly detract from the overall message. To improve, focus on refining sentence structure and word choice for greater clarity and fluency.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping related ideas together more explicitly. For example, you could dedicate a paragraph to your study plans, another to your need for a part-time job, and a final one to how James can help. Using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph would also enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas. For example, instead of 'money in my bank account,' you could say 'financial resources' or 'savings.' Also, 'augment' is slightly misused; consider 'supplement' instead. Expanding your range of vocabulary will make your writing more engaging and effective. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'It's been a long time since we met and getting together' should be 'It's been a long time since we met and got together.' Also, 'I need a part-time a job' should be 'I need a part-time job.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage (a/an/the), and correct tense usage. Proofreading carefully will help you identify and correct these errors.

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