Letter

Band 5+: You are looking for a part time job. Write a letter to an employment agency.

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Dear Sir,

I am writing this to you for looking a part time job through your employment agency. First of all, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Navdeep Kaur and I am an international student here. I am looking for a part time job so I will manage my financial things along with my study. I am living in Surrey so I want a job that is near to my accommodation as well as the working area have the good public transportation facility. Apart from this, I am not interested in food so I do not want to do job in food court or restaurant.

Moreover, I also have two-year experience in retail industry where I have so many responsibilities such as cash handling, cleaning, merchandising and customer service etc. I am a good team member, happy to work with my co-workers, good communication skills and positivity. Looking for your response.

Yours faithfully

Navdeep Kaur

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

looking: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the task. You have introduced yourself, specified the type of job you are looking for (including location and industry preferences), and detailed your relevant experience and skills. However, the response could be improved by expanding on the 'sort of job' section to make it more professional. For example, instead of focusing heavily on what you *don't* want to do (food industry), you could suggest specific sectors you *are* interested in, such as retail or administration. Additionally, ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and refining the grammatical structures (e.g., 'I am writing to inquire about...' instead of 'I am writing this to you for looking...') would enhance the overall quality and professional tone of the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows a logical sequence by addressing the prompts in order, but the transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt. To improve, use more sophisticated linking words instead of repetitive structures like 'I am... I am...'. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with 'I', try using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'Since I am living in Surrey, I am looking for...'). Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic to improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but quite basic and repetitive (e.g., using 'job' and 'good' multiple times). To reach a higher band, aim for more precise and professional terminology. Instead of 'manage my financial things', use 'support myself financially'. Instead of 'I am not interested in food', use 'I would prefer to avoid the hospitality sector'. Also, avoid using 'etc.' in formal letters; it is better to list your items clearly or use 'such as... among others'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that impact the professional tone of the letter. Issues include preposition usage ('looking a part time job' should be 'looking for a part-time job'), sentence structure ('the working area have the good public transportation facility' should be 'the working area has good public transport facilities'), and parallel structure ('I am a good team member... good communication skills' should be 'I have good communication skills'). Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that lists of qualities follow the same grammatical form.

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Band 5+: You are looking for a part time job. Write a letter to an employment agency.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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You are looking for a part time job. Write a letter to an employment agency.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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