Letter

Band 5+: You are looking for a part time job. Write a letter to an employment agency.

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Dear sir,

I am Piyum Shashikala and I live in Kesbewa. Currently, I am an unemployee with effect from January 2025 and I was a graduated Nurse with 10 years of experience. Currently I am looking for a part time job since I require to follow my children’s daily routine staying behind them.

I have graduated from Royal Lanka Institue with one year on te job training. In addition, Ihave followed a deploma in Dementia Care and I have five years of valid Firsr Aid License. As per my working background, I have 10 years of nursing experience in reputed organizations and my last employment at Royal Nursing Home in Sri Lanka with effect from January 2018 to December 2024. Due to my house hold chores I am available from 7am to 1 pm since my children are schooling during that period. Accordingly, I am looking for a part time nursing position to fulfill from 7 am to 1 pm.

I would sincerely appreciate it if you could kindly let me know if there is a nursing or nursing related position in Colombo area. Thank you very much for your kind cooperation in this regards.

Thanking you.

Yours faithfully,

Piyum Shashikala Ielts

Word Count: 202

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

nursing: 5

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by outlining the writer's job requirements and qualifications. However, there are some areas for improvement. The letter could benefit from a clearer and more concise expression of the writer's needs and qualifications. Additionally, ensure that the information provided is accurate and consistent, and pay attention to grammatical accuracy and clarity throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider structuring the letter with a clear introduction stating your purpose, a body paragraph detailing your qualifications and availability, and a concluding paragraph expressing your gratitude and contact information. Using more transitional phrases would also enhance the flow between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more precise and varied language to describe your skills and experience. For example, instead of just saying 'reputed organizations,' you could provide specific examples or use more descriptive adjectives.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'I am an unemployee' should be 'I am unemployed.' Proofreading carefully before submitting your writing is essential.

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