Letter

Band 4+: You are organizing a farewell dinner for a mentor who is retiring after many years of service. Write a letter to a former colleague inviting them to the dinner. You should include details about: - who the dinner is for and why it is a significant milestone - the date, time, and venue of the dinner - any contribution or gift you would like them to be part of

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Dear Mansirat Kaur.

I hope this letter finds you in a radiant health. I wants to invites you to farewell party that organized by me to chrerish and appreciate achievements of my grandfather who recently retired from his army major post.

my grandfather was a great army officer, as he served his 32 years in that sector as well as, he was the part of the bettle field and won it which was a great milestone of his duty. not only this, he is still serving in punjab police department as a inspector and protecting our society from criminals.

The party is held on monday, 25 september and the venue is sure stay by best westren, it will be started by 12:30 pm, so please arrive on given time and i will be more glad if your family comes with you.Moreover, i created a video of his life journey which depicts all over family moments and his professional journey, which will be a surprise for him.

I hope you will come on ther party.

your sincerely.

Navdeep kaur.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task but has several inaccuracies and omissions. It mentions the dinner is for the writer's grandfather, not a mentor, and the reason for the celebration is not clearly a retirement milestone. The date, time, and venue are provided, but the date is incomplete (no year) and the time is vague. The contribution/gift is mentioned (a video), but it is not clearly a group contribution. There are also grammatical errors and informal tone issues. To improve, ensure the recipient is a former colleague, clarify the mentor relationship, provide complete details, and clearly state how the recipient can contribute to a gift.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a logical structure with clear paragraphs for the purpose, details, and invitation. However, the flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and some missing connectors. The opening and closing are appropriate, but the middle section could be more smoothly linked. Consider using cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to improve the flow. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the letter is well-paragraphed.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at formal language (e.g., 'cherish', 'appreciate', 'significant milestone'). However, there are several word choice errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'radiant health', 'bettle field', 'sure stay by best westren'). To improve, use more precise and natural vocabulary, and proofread for spelling errors. Also, vary the vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the overall tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the letter, including subject-verb agreement ('I wants'), incorrect verb forms ('invites'), missing articles ('a farewell party'), and punctuation issues (missing commas, incorrect capitalization). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is limited use of complex sentences. To improve, focus on basic grammar rules, use a wider range of sentence structures, and carefully proofread for errors. Pay attention to correct use of tenses and prepositions.

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