Letter

Band 4+: You are planning a surprise birthday party for a close friend. Write a letter to your friend's neighbor. In your letter, you should: - Explain the purpose of your letter. - Describe the details of the party, including date, time and location. - Request their help in keeping the party a surprise.

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Dear Alice,

Hi Alice, how have you been? Forgive me that I never keep in touch with you for a while. I need your hand to help me to make a surprise for Deborah. Deborah’s birthday at 13th December in her home, and I said to her that I can’t go to her birthday party. I make a plan that I become a delivery man who coming late bring her birthday’s cake. And I want you to make her unfocused with hers. Please make her upset, and I will make her in a bad mood. For the feedback I’ll give you some weird costume and if you don’t mind, can you wear that? I’ll contact the other friends to make this up. I am sorry that I ask too much. If you interested please contact me asap. I’ll send you the costume. Just in case you don’t want to join, please make it secret.

best

Amira

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

please: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but includes some inappropriate and inaccurate information. The request to make Deborah 'upset' and put her 'in a bad mood' is inappropriate for a surprise birthday party. The letter needs to clearly explain the purpose, provide party details, and request help in a more appropriate and organized manner. To improve, focus on providing clear and relevant information and maintaining a consistent and appropriate tone throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the sequence of ideas is difficult to follow. To improve coherence, try to group related ideas into paragraphs and use transitional phrases to connect your thoughts smoothly. For example, you could dedicate one paragraph to explaining the party details, another to requesting Alice's help, and a final one to wrap up the letter. Also, ensure that your requests are clearly stated and logically connected to the overall purpose of the letter.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and sometimes inappropriate for the context. For instance, phrases like 'I need your hand' and 'make her unfocused with hers' are not idiomatic. To enhance your lexical resource, try to use more precise and varied vocabulary. Instead of 'make her upset,' consider using 'distract her' or 'keep her occupied.' Also, focus on using more natural and common expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. There are issues with verb tense ('Deborah's birthday at 13th December'), sentence structure ('I make a plan that I become a delivery man'), and word choice ('make her in a bad mood'). To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on using correct verb tenses, forming grammatically sound sentences, and choosing appropriate prepositions and articles. Review basic grammar rules and practice constructing simple and complex sentences correctly.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

Write a letter to your English speaking friend who is visiting you soon and asking you what presents your family would like. Write - Who your family consists of - What kind of presents each member would like. - How you feel about your friend coming to visit

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