Letter

Band 5+: You are planning to host a farewell party for a colleague who is leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager requesting permission to use the company's conference room for the party. In your letter, state the purpose of the party, describe the arrangements you have in mind (date, time, number of people), and explain why holding the party at the office would be convenient.

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Hello, Mr. Jones.

My name is Alexandr Kolo. I am manager in Sun corp. As you know, our department is going to organising a farewell party for our colleague mr. Lambert on Monday, 24th. Could we talk about a couple of details?

We have already booked the Rain cafe on Night street, 57 on Monday evening, since 5 p.m. until 11 p.m. Tell me please, would food preferences do you have? Should we order italian of asian cousine? I need your support finance support too. We invited a singer, who will sing songs for Mr. Lambert. It costs 1 thousand of dollars.

Mr. Lambert have been working for our company since October of 1987. Assuming we don’t buy something special for him, it can be mistake for the our side. I know that he is a big fan of football. I would be order an official ball for the World cup in the USA. In my opinion, it is a good present. Moreover, such present will benefit the company’s morale because show how head’s of company care about their managers.

Regards, Alexandr

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

lambert: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the main points of the task but includes some irrelevant details and inaccuracies. The request for support is present, but the overall organization and tone could be improved to be more professional and persuasive. To improve, focus on clearly stating the purpose, desired support, and benefits in a structured manner, while maintaining a formal tone throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. The purpose of the letter is stated, but the details are not presented in a logical order. For example, the request for financial support is somewhat buried within other details. To improve coherence, consider structuring the letter with a clear introduction stating the purpose, followed by specific details about the party, the support needed, and the benefits to the team and company. Using more formal language and transitional phrases would also enhance the letter's cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the sophistication expected in a formal letter to a manager. There are instances of inappropriate word choice and phrasing. For example, 'Tell me please, would food preferences do you have?' is not a natural way to ask about dietary preferences. To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary and more formal expressions. For instance, instead of 'finance support,' use 'financial support.' Consider using phrases like 'We would be grateful for your consideration of...' or 'We believe this event would significantly contribute to...' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. For example, 'organising' should be 'organizing,' and 'Mr. Lambert have been working' should be 'Mr. Lambert has been working.' The sentence structure is also often awkward and unclear. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the letter for errors and consider using a grammar checker. Practice using a variety of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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