Letter

Band 6+: You have a foreign friend, Helen, she has just received a letter from your friend, Hoa. She is going to study in London next month. However, she wants to know some personal information from your friend and she needs you to give her some vital information. • Describe Hoa's personality and hobbies • Describe Hoa's work or study • And ask Helen if she charges for rent when living and studying in London. Write a letter to Helen to make the problems above clearly.

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Dear Helen,

I’m thrilled to hear that you’ve just received a letter from my close friend, Hoa. I’m glad to share with you some details about her.

Honestly, Hoa and I have had a profound friendship since we were three-year-old kids, so I think my information may be useful for you. Regarding Hoa’s personality, people around would describe her as an attractive and extroverted person, making her able to broaden her social circle easily. She’s a type of person that is inclined to keep peace with friends, so it’s easy for you two to get along. When it comes to hobbies, she has a strong preference for cooking as it seems blissfully happy to her. Try her chocolate cookies, you may get into them.

As for Hoa’s study, she is going to apply for Pre-Laws Department at Cambridge University soon. That’s why she needs to be a housemate with you. Admittedly, Hoa is such a freaking genius; don’t hesitate to ask her if you’re in trouble with your homework.

Would you like to give her a chance to live at your apartment for a period of time? And, how can she charge for renting? Just email me when you did make a decision.

I hope the information helps you,

Best wishes,

Abc.

Word Count: 212

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points from the task instructions effectively. The descriptions of Hoa's personality, hobbies, and studies are detailed and provide a clear picture of the person. The final prompt regarding rent is included, though the phrasing 'how can she charge for renting' is slightly awkward and could be interpreted as asking how Hoa can charge Helen, rather than asking how much rent Hoa needs to pay. To improve, ensure that the inquiry about rent is more precise (e.g., 'Could you let us know how much the rent would be?' or 'Does she need to pay rent to live with you?'). Additionally, be cautious with overly informal slang like 'freaking genius' in a letter that, while friendly, still requires a certain level of structural clarity. Overall, the response is well-developed and covers the requirements of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs that correspond to the bullet points in the task. The progression of ideas is clear, and you use cohesive devices like 'Regarding...', 'When it comes to...', and 'As for...' to transition between topics. To improve, ensure that the transitions feel more natural and less formulaic. Additionally, the connection between Hoa studying at Cambridge and needing to be a housemate with Helen could be made more explicit to improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource

You have used a good range of vocabulary, such as 'profound friendship', 'extroverted', and 'inclined to'. However, there are some instances of inappropriate word choices or informalities that do not quite fit the context. For example, 'freaking genius' is too slangy/informal for this type of letter, and 'blissfully happy to her' is phrased awkwardly. Aim for more precise collocations, such as 'finds cooking blissful' or 'is a highly intelligent person'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

You demonstrate a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that affect the smoothness of the reading. For instance, 'since we were three-year-old kids' should be 'since we were three years old', and 'how can she charge for renting?' is semantically incorrect (it implies Hoa is charging Helen, whereas the task asks if Helen charges Hoa). Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and verb tenses (e.g., 'when you make a decision' instead of 'when you did make a decision').

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