Letter

Band 5+: You have been working with your company for two years and are interested in a promotion. Write a letter to your direct boss. In your letter: • Explain your varied a chivements over the past two years • Express your interest in growing with the company pilot • Ask for a meeting to discuss a potential promotion.

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Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing regarding my promotion.

I would be grateful if you could consider my position. I have been working this company for two years as a regular member. During two years, I contributed $1,000.000 to the company revenue such as business travel and meeting with customer companies. Perhaps I could take over my tips to my co-workers using these experiences. When they learn about these, this company can grow up to compare with now. Moreover, when I was working as a manager at previous job, I became a supervisor in just one year. These work experiences have potential being a promotion.

I would like to have meeting about promotion. I am in the office on weekdays from 10 am to 5pm excepting on wednesdays due to weekly conference in other office. I can handle my schedule, so please let me know whenever you can.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time and conciderarion.

Kind regards,

Mai Ikeda

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

company: 3

these: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by explaining achievements, expressing interest in growth, and requesting a meeting. However, the information provided is somewhat general and lacks specific details. To improve, provide more concrete examples of your achievements and how they have benefited the company. Also, elaborate on your interest in growing with the company and what specific roles or areas you are interested in.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between your achievements, your interest in growing with the company, and your request for a meeting. For example, you could start a new paragraph when transitioning to a new point. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. Try to incorporate more specific and professional language related to your achievements and the company's growth. For instance, instead of 'contributed $1,000.000 to the company revenue,' you could specify the types of contributions (e.g., 'generated $1,000,000 in revenue through key account management and strategic partnerships').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to prepositions ('working *at* this company,' 'meeting *with* customer companies'), verb tenses, and article usage. Also, ensure subject-verb agreement throughout the letter. Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors. For example, 'These work experiences have potential *for* a promotion' is more accurate.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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