Letter

Band 4+: You have learned about an international job that is available within the company you currently work for and you want to apply. Write a letter to the hiring manager. In your letter Say why you are applying for this international position Describe the job you are currently doing for the company Tell him/her why you think you will be good at the job

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Mr. Kim

I saw a job offier from the company web. I am really interesting in your company, so I write this letter to apply for the job.

I had graduated from the Urivesty for two years. In my school lite, I created many interested activeives, and I want to become a actintive staff.

My present work is helping government to hold events. Suretimes we will invist a famous people to have a speech, sometimes we will find a profession teacher to teach the citizens how to get a job easily.

Alought I was just working in my company for two years. I helped my company to match the goal from government’s expect. Then the government gave us more money for extra. I will be the best person to fit the job. Hope that I can be a member of your company soon.

Best Sincerely,

Mooni

Word Count: 147

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

company: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but includes irrelevant information and lacks clarity in several areas. The content is somewhat related to the task, but key points are either too general or inappropriate. To improve, focus on directly addressing each point in the task instructions with specific and relevant details. Provide clear reasons for your interest in the international position, a concise description of your current job, and specific examples of why your skills and experiences make you a good fit for the new role. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to ensure clarity. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, and the flow of ideas is difficult to follow. The introduction is abrupt, and the transitions between paragraphs are not smooth. To improve coherence, use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and transition words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, you could start by directly stating the position you are applying for and where you saw the advertisement. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the task.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed for a formal application letter. There are several instances of incorrect word usage ('offier,' 'lite,' 'activeives,' 'actintive,' 'invist,' 'Suretimes,' 'Alought'). To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary that is appropriate for a professional context. Focus on using synonyms and more specific words to convey your meaning accurately. Proofread carefully to catch and correct spelling errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'I saw a job offier from the company web' and 'I had graduated from the Urivesty for two years' contain errors. To improve, focus on using correct grammar and sentence structure. Review basic grammar rules and practice writing simple, clear sentences. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors.

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