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Letter

Band 4+: You have read about a scholarship offered by a university and wish to apply. Write a letter to the University and include the following information - *The scholarship you wish to apply for * Some details about yourself *Your academic suitability for the scholarship * And any other relevant information

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to you know about the Huber Scholarship at your university. Currently, I am studying at your university in Bachelor in Nursing in first semester.

I completed my senior secondary from CBSE board with 90% marks. I also have full attendance in this semester. I think I am suitable for this scholarship because of above requirements.

In addition, I am in the college football team which is in the finals of league. Also, actively participate in college debate and panel discussion team. I hope you will find this information helpful. Could you please provide me proper details about scholarship or I am suitable or not? I would be thankful to you.

Yours sincerely,

Aman

Word Count: 120

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Overall Band Score

4.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
scholarship: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

5
The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, providing information about the scholarship, the applicant's background, and academic suitability. However, there are some areas where the response could be improved. To enhance the letter, provide more specific details about your academic achievements and extracurricular activities. For example, instead of just mentioning participation in debate, elaborate on specific debate topics or achievements. Also, clarify your request for information about the scholarship; specify what details you need beyond what is already publicly available. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

4
The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but it could benefit from more explicit transitions between ideas. For example, when transitioning from academic achievements to extracurricular activities, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition to my academic record' would improve the flow. Also, the request for information at the end feels abrupt; rephrasing it to align better with the preceding content would enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For instance, instead of saying 'I think I am suitable,' consider using more specific language like 'I believe my academic record and extracurricular involvement make me a strong candidate.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will make your writing more compelling.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4
The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'to you know' should be 'to inquire,' and there are issues with sentence structure and verb tense consistency throughout the letter. Reviewing basic grammar rules and focusing on sentence construction will help improve accuracy. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage.

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