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Letter

Band 5+: You have recently completed a course that has improved your skills. Write a letter to your supervisor requesting a salary increase based on your new qualifications. You should include details about: - the course you completed and the skills you gained - how these skills will benefit the company - your current salary and the amount you believe would be appropriate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Good morning HR Supervisor at FeelGood CompanyMy name is Vicky Mole, I’m an HR Admin for 1 year at FeelGood Company.

First of all, I’m thankful for the chance granted at me to work at FeelGood Company and allow me to stay for a year. My time at this company has greatly increase my skillsat Huma Resource, proven by my KPI that always reached the minimal passing grade and not one bit scored below. I’m writing this letter to request an increase in my salary and position. Qualification to keep in mind for deciding an increase in my salary will be listed below:

– Human Resource Bootcamp : I achieve A+ score on all course. This includes in Recruitment, Manpower Planning, HR Administration, Employment Laws, Conflict Resolve, Payroll.- Certification in Human Resource Officer approved by the Indonesian Embassy

My current salary is $5000 and with this qualification I proposed salary improve by $1000 which became $6000 and an upgrade in position from HR Admin to HR Officer.Thank you in advance

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

salary: 4

feelgood: 3

increase: 3

resource: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6.5

The letter adequately addresses all parts of the task. More detail on how the new skills will benefit the company would improve the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

5

The letter's message is mostly clear, but the structure and flow could be improved for better readability and impact. Some sentences lack smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource

4.5

The vocabulary used is appropriate, but a wider range and more precise word choices would enhance the letter's professionalism and impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5

While the letter conveys the main points, numerous grammatical errors and inconsistencies detract from the overall clarity and professionalism. Improving grammatical accuracy is crucial.

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