Letter

Band 5+: You recently attended a training course that was recommended by your manager, but you found it unhelpful. Write a letter to your manager apologizing for not finding the course beneficial. You should include details about: - specific aspects of the course that were not useful - how you tried to make the most of the training - suggestions for future training courses.

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Dear manager, based on the training that I attended yesterday, I feel like it didn’t meet my expectations. I briefly explained my reasons why I think the training doesn’t align with what I expected it to be.

Firstly, the training explained data reconciliation, but the software used in the training was pretty outdated to use, especially in a growing industry like our company accommodating right now. Nowadays, people in our industry use software like Tableau and SQL to improve the effectiveness of our job. Nevertheless, in this training session, the material that used for this is Microsoft Excel, which is not only outdated, but the software is too basic to tackle the problem we are facing right now.

The solutions that i can offer to the training and development department are to always make sure to take a prior survey of the designated department before deciding what to train in the future. After that, make sure to assess their answer and then finally decide what to train based on their response. I think this will become more effective to our company, not only because the training is truly beneficial but also the sessions was making a price of our time that we spend during the training sessions.

Sincerely,

Atika

Word Count: 209

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

training: 8

software: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development of the ideas is somewhat uneven. You clearly explained what the course was intended to teach (data reconciliation) and why it was ineffective (outdated software). However, the third bullet point asks what kind of training would be more beneficial for your role, but you instead provided suggestions on how the training department should conduct surveys. While relevant to the company, this slightly misses the specific prompt of identifying a specific training topic or skill set for your future development. To improve, ensure you answer the prompt directly. Instead of focusing on the administrative process of the training department, suggest specific technical training (e.g., 'I would benefit more from an advanced course in Tableau or SQL') to satisfy the final requirement. Additionally, ensure your tone remains professional; phrases like 'making a price of our time' are slightly awkward and could be expressed more clearly as 'ensuring our time is used efficiently.'

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows a logical progression by addressing the prompts in order. However, the transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt. The introduction is a bit repetitive ('I feel like it didn't meet my expectations' followed immediately by 'I briefly explained my reasons why I think the training doesn't align with what I expected'). To improve, use more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. For example, instead of starting with 'Firstly,' you could use a more formal opening to set the context of the letter.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is functional but lacks the sophistication required for a professional letter to a manager. There is some repetition of words like 'training' and 'software.' Phrases such as 'pretty outdated to use' and 'making a price of our time' are informal or idiomatically incorrect. To improve, aim for more professional collocations, such as 'obsolete technology' instead of 'outdated to use,' or 'valuable use of our time' instead of 'making a price of our time.' Using industry-specific terminology more naturally will also help.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow of reading. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the sessions was'), improper use of relative clauses ('the material that used for this is'), and awkward phrasing ('accommodating right now'). Additionally, the capitalization of the personal pronoun 'i' is incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that verb tenses are consistent throughout the letter. Practicing the use of passive voice (e.g., 'the material used in the session was...') would also enhance the formal tone.

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