Letter

Band 6+: You recently bought a piece of electronic equipment from a local store, but it has developed a problem after only a few days of use. Write a letter to the store manager.

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Dear Manager,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the smartphone that I recently bought from your online store. I ordered a black iPhone 13 on 12th december, and I urgently need it for my small business.

Unfortunately, the experience was far from satatisfactory. firstly, I received an iPhone 11 instead of iPhone 13. Secondly, the smartphone arrived in a different colour insead of black, which was both disappointing and unacceptable. Moreover, despite reporting these issues to your staff at the time, no effective action was taken to resolve the situation. As a result, the experience was negatively affected and I did not receive the level of service I would expect from your staff.

I would apperciate it if you could offer a full refund or provide a discount on a future approach as a conpensation for this inconvenience. I also hope that appropirate measures will be taken to ensure a higher standard of services in the future.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Lamine

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

iphone: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by describing the product and the purchase date, but it does not accurately explain the problem as stated in the task. The task specifies that the gadget stopped working after a few days, but the letter instead describes receiving the wrong model and color, which is a different issue. This key inaccuracy detracts from the task achievement. Additionally, the requested action (full refund or discount) is relevant, but the overall response does not fully align with the task requirements. To improve, ensure that the problem described matches the task instructions exactly, and avoid introducing unrelated issues. Also, proofread for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'satatisfactory', 'insead', 'apperciate', 'conpensation', 'approprite').

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The paragraphs are logically structured, with a clear introduction, problem description, and request. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt shift from describing the problem to the request without a smooth transition. Consider using linking phrases like 'In light of these issues' to improve flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate and mostly accurate, with some good choices like 'dissatisfaction' and 'unacceptable'. However, there are a few errors (e.g., 'insead' for 'instead', 'apperciate' for 'appreciate', 'conpensation' for 'compensation', 'approprite' for 'appropriate') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'discount on a future approach' should be 'discount on a future purchase'). Using a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms would enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, '12th december' should be '12th December', 'satatisfactory' is misspelled, 'firstly' and 'secondly' are used correctly but the list is incomplete, and 'services' should be 'service'. Additionally, the phrase 'the experience was negatively affected' is vague. Improving accuracy with articles, verb tenses, and spelling would raise the score.

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Band 6+: You recently bought a piece of electronic equipment from a local store, but it has developed a problem after only a few days of use. Write a letter to the store manager.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You recently bought a piece of electronic equipment from a local store, but it has developed a problem after only a few days of use. Write a letter to the store manager.

You recently bought a piece of electronic equipment from a local store, but it has developed a problem after only a few days of use. Write a letter to the store manager.

You recently bought a piece of electronic equipment from a local store, but it has developed a problem after only a few days of use. Write a letter to the store manager.

You recently bought a piece of electronic equipment from a local store, but it has developed a problem after only a few days of use. Write a letter to the store manager.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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