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Letter

Band 4+: You recently bought a product online that arrived damaged. Write a letter to the company you bought it from. - Explain what you bought and when you received it. - Describe the damage to the product. - Say what you want the company to do.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear, Apple support

hello, this is taeyong Choi who purchased new iphone 16 last week 8th August on Sunday. The order number is FDS1233 and shipping code is DSSDS23. I have just recieved my item today around 4pm on 10th August Tuesday, and it came with damaged item.

when i see the package, there was not any fragile sign on the box, and very poor protection items such as airbag. the airbag was not fill enough. and the new Iphone sceern was tear. it can be still useable but i really looking forward to new iphone, however it is broken already before open.

i really want and require to your company to send new iphone 16 again to my shipping address and let me know how to return the item is broken down.

I hope hear good news from your team.

best regards

taeyong Choi

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

4.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
iphone: 4
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, clearly stating the product purchased, the date of receipt, and the nature of the damage. The desired action is also clearly communicated. However, there are some minor lapses in formality and detail. To improve, focus on maintaining a consistently formal tone throughout the letter and providing more specific details about the damage. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

4
The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but could be improved with more distinct paragraphing to separate the introduction, description of the damage, and requested action. Transitions between ideas could also be smoother to enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room to use more precise and varied language to describe the damage and express your dissatisfaction. For example, instead of 'tear' you could use 'cracked' or 'shattered'. Consider using stronger vocabulary to convey the urgency and importance of your request.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3
The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on correct tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and article usage ('the', 'a', 'an'). Pay attention to sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence conveys a clear idea. Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors.

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