Letter

Band 6+: You recently made a journey by train. When you got on the train, you realised you had left a bag on the platform. Write a letter to the station manager. In your letter: • give details of where and when you left the bag • describe the bag and its contents • suggest how you could get the bag back

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to inquire about a bag which I left at station during my train journey from Amritsar to Delhi.

On 21st of December, I was waiting for my train on platform 5. The station was so crowded, so I chose to sit in waiting area. There was a table in corner with few chairs, where I was sitting and scrolling my phone. Suddenly, I heard an announcement that train is coming on platform 9 instead of 5. As a result, I ran in hurry and forget my bag which was besides me.

It was a pale brown coloured leather bag from Coach. It has my initials on chains and sling in golden colour. Moreover, it has 3 compartments in which I put my documents, a book and my phone charger.

It would be really appreciated if it could be delivered at my home address in Amritsar. I would do not mind to pay delivery charges but I need to deliver it as soon as possible. I could provide you further details such as my home address and best time to deliver.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,

Alex

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 3

train: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately covers all requirements of the task, providing relevant and sufficient details about the lost bag, the circumstances of its loss, and a suggestion for its return. The letter is well-organized and uses a formal tone suitable for addressing a station manager. To further improve, ensure that all details are as specific as possible to aid in the bag's identification and return.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The sequence of events is logical, but some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow. For example, when describing the bag's contents, you could use more varied linking words to connect the items. Consider using phrases like 'In addition to this' or 'Furthermore' to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate for the task. There is room to enhance the lexical range by using more specific and descriptive words. For instance, instead of 'the station was so crowded,' you could use 'the station was teeming with people' or 'the station was bustling with activity.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition, such as 'retrieve' instead of repeatedly using 'deliver'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'I would do not mind to pay delivery charges' should be 'I would not mind paying delivery charges.' Also, ensure subject-verb agreement throughout the letter. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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