Letter

Band 6+: You recently received an official document (salary slip, visa, academic transcript) with incorrect information. Write a letter to the relevant department. In your letter: explain the mistake provide correct details request correction as soon as possible

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Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to request you to send an updated academic transcript as it is really important for higher education.

A few days ago, I applied for a transcript. When I checked it thoroughly, I noticed that my last name was written incorrectly. My surname is Patel which has only one “a” but in the official document, it is mentioned as “Paatel”. This document is mandatory in the application for the Chemical laboratory program as a foreign institute wants to know about my performance and subjects I have learned. So, if there could be any similarity between the courses then they would provide me a credit of that subject.

I would therefore like to request you to provide me an updated transcript at your earliest convenience. The due date for applying for a tertiary education is February 20th . Therefore, it would be great if you could send it to me before that timeline for a smoother process.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours faithfully,

Shreya Patel

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

transcript: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses the task by explaining the mistake in the academic transcript, providing the correct details, and requesting a correction promptly. The purpose of the transcript is also well explained. To further enhance the response, ensure that all points are addressed with equal emphasis and detail. For example, while the mistake and the urgency are well explained, the letter could benefit from a slightly more detailed explanation of the correct details (e.g., explicitly stating the full correct name). Overall, the letter is well-written and effectively communicates the necessary information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the purpose is clear from the beginning. The request for an updated transcript and the explanation of the error are logically presented. To improve coherence, consider adding a more direct statement of the action you expect the department to take, such as 'I request that you correct the error and issue a new transcript.' Also, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs by explicitly linking ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task. To enhance lexical resource, try incorporating more specific and varied language related to academic documents and corrections. For example, instead of 'send an updated academic transcript,' you could use 'issue a corrected academic transcript.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition, such as replacing 'mandatory' with 'essential' or 'required.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, though there are some areas for improvement. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct article usage. For instance, 'a foreign institute wants to know' is grammatically correct, but consider rephrasing for clarity and formality, such as 'an international institution requires verification.' Review the letter carefully for minor errors in punctuation and sentence structure to enhance overall accuracy.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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