Letter

Band 5+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events' organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have

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Dear Sir,

Thank you for making time to review my CV.I am Fatema Sema,an experienced and professioanl event manager for 5 years.I have successfully handled more than 500 events,and got cerifications for the same,and think I’ll be the best suitable to be placed for hosting your upcoming event.

Further,I wanted to get some general information regarding the date,time and venue of the event.What are your mandatory requirements for the event.In addition to that,what special arrangements you need to get arranged for different age groups,especially the adolescents.

Moreover,I’ll be sharing my Personal profile which has been reviewed and got positive comments from my lovely clients.I have completed from masters from the well-known University of Delhi,St.Joseph in the academic year 2024.Parallel to my studies,I did internship with the same University.

Hope to hearing from you soon.

Best regards,

Fatema.

Word Count: 137

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by expressing interest in the role, requesting more information, and explaining relevant experience. However, the content includes some irrelevant details (e.g., mentioning the university and internship) that detract slightly from the overall focus. To improve, concentrate on directly addressing the task points with concise and relevant information. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more effective transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence. For example, clearly link your experience to the role you're applying for. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear purpose.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. For instance, instead of saying 'best suitable,' you could use a more precise phrase like 'ideally suited' or 'well-qualified.' Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to event management to demonstrate a stronger command of the language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect the clarity of the letter. Focus on improving sentence structure and ensuring correct verb tense usage. For example, 'Hope to hearing from you soon' should be 'Hope to hear from you soon.' Pay close attention to punctuation and proofread carefully to eliminate errors.

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