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Letter

Band 4+: You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: - Describe the park - Explain why you think it needs improvements - Suggest what improvements they could make

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Council.

I´m a resident of the surroundigs since 2008, and all along i´ve checked that there´s a park over Flower St. that is on deplorable conditions, that´s why there are a lot of drug and alcohol addicts; I´m very sure that if your team evict this people, it’ll look way better and we will also mantein and promote the cleaning, something esential in this time were the pollution is one of the main problems of all the enviroment. So this action would just no help the residents to have a better place without any kind of madness, but also helping the ecosystem to garantize a town for the next generation.

And for starting this proyect, you must displace this people, then clean all the park, and that would be everything and if you also are able to, you can place some playgrounds for the kids, since there are a lot of schools in this zone.

I hope my disclaimer can help improve our arounds and also our relation with nature.

Blessings

From: Amanda Reque

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

4.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

4
The letter attempts to address the task but includes irrelevant and inappropriate information. The focus on evicting drug addicts detracts from the main purpose of requesting improved park facilities. Key points are not clearly presented, and the letter lacks specific details about the desired improvements and funding options. To improve, focus on clearly outlining the specific facilities needed, who would benefit, and potential funding sources.

Coherence & Cohesion

5
The letter's organization could be improved for clarity. Consider dedicating separate paragraphs to each of the points mentioned in the task: the specific facilities needing improvement and why, who would benefit, and how the improvements could be funded. Using more formal language and avoiding overly emotional or accusatory tones would also enhance the letter's coherence and professionalism.

Lexical Resource

5
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains some inaccuracies ('surroundigs,' 'mantein,' 'esential,' 'were,' 'proyect,' 'displace'). Expanding your vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling and usage would improve this area. Consider using more specific and descriptive language when discussing the desired improvements and their benefits.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4
The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. Sentence structure is also often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules, and practice writing more complex sentences accurately. Proofreading carefully before submitting your work is essential.

Answers On The Same Topic:

You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: – Describe the park – Explain why you think it needs improvements – Suggest what improvements they could make

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Band 9

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Band 5+

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