Letter

Band 6+: You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: - Describe the park - Explain why you think it needs improvements - Suggest what improvements they could make

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Dear Sir,

Goodday Sir, I hope this letter finds you well. I am a residence of this community with over 25 years of living in this neighbourhood. I am writing to express my displeasure on the detoriate state of the local park sited at No 17 close at Golden Estate, also to recommend specific measures to be taken to improve the state of the park.

Undoubtedly, the state of the local park is at a dilapidated state, that if nothing is done to address the condition as soon as possible, the faclilities would become unsafe for the public to use, whereby making the purpose and intentions of creating the park defected.

The park needs to be renovated and restructured for social activites to resume, not only will this facilate socialization among members of the community but also help to generate revenue for the communtiy and also create job opportunity for youths within the community.

Inveiw to recommmends measures of improving the conditions of the park. It is very important that the management of the park should be changed to give room for fresh ideals to be implemented. Also fund raising programme should be lunch in order to solicite for funds for renovation and procurement of modren facilities to equiped the park.

Thank you

John EP

Word Count: 215

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

state: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by describing the park's current state, explaining the need for improvement, and suggesting specific improvements. The content is relevant and well-organized. To further improve, focus on providing more specific details in your suggestions and ensuring consistently accurate grammar and word choice throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The introduction is a bit lengthy and could be more concise. The paragraphs sometimes lack clear transitions, making the flow of ideas a bit disjointed. Consider using more transitional phrases to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to,' or 'Therefore' can help to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more varied and precise. There are instances of slightly unnatural phrasing. To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and descriptive words related to park improvements and community benefits. For example, instead of 'social activites to resume,' you could say 'recreational activities to flourish.' Also, be mindful of using the correct form of words (e.g., 'deteriorated' instead of 'detoriate').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. For example, the sentence 'Undoubtedly, the state of the local park is at a dilapidated state, that if nothing is done to address the condition as soon as possible, the faclilities would become unsafe for the public to use, whereby making the purpose and intentions of creating the park defected' is quite convoluted and contains multiple errors. Focus on constructing simpler, clearer sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper punctuation. Proofreading carefully can help catch these errors.

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Band 6+: You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: - Describe the park - Explain why you think it needs improvements - Suggest what improvements they could make

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Answers On The Same Topic:

You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: – Describe the park – Explain why you think it needs improvements – Suggest what improvements they could make

You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: – Describe the park – Explain why you think it needs improvements – Suggest what improvements they could make

You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: – Describe the park – Explain why you think it needs improvements – Suggest what improvements they could make

You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: – Describe the park – Explain why you think it needs improvements – Suggest what improvements they could make

You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: – Describe the park – Explain why you think it needs improvements – Suggest what improvements they could make

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