Letter

Band 7+: You want to organise a party in your office to celebrate something. Write a letter to your manager about the party at the office. In your letter, • say what the party is about • mention why it is necessary • explain what you expect from him/her to do Write at least 150 words.

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Dear Mr. Alex,

I am writing to request that our team would like to organise a party in our office on the occasion of Maha Shivaratri.

In the first place, Maha Shivaratri is one of the biggest festivals that is celebrated all over India. The festival takes place between February to April every year.

It is all about bringing those back home vibes to the all the employees. Moreover, it would give a new experience to the employees from different communities. It encourages them to get involved in these activities by wearing traditional wears and would explore Indian food. This benefits the organisation because the bond between the employees becomes strong and work can be carried out more effectively.

I would like you to present this request to the higher officials for approval. All the arrangements including decoration, food, and clothing for employees will be taken care by my team.

I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as you receive this letter.

Yours sincerely,

Varun

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 4

employees: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining the party's purpose, its necessity, and the expectations from the manager. There are some minor areas for improvement, such as elaborating further on the specific actions expected from the manager beyond presenting the request to higher officials. Also, the letter could benefit from a slightly more formal tone in certain sections to better suit a workplace communication.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the purpose is clear. However, the transition between the explanation of the festival and its benefits to the organization could be smoother. Consider using more explicit linking words or phrases to connect these ideas more cohesively. For example, you could add a sentence that directly links the cultural celebration to team building and improved work dynamics.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message effectively. To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and specific vocabulary related to celebrations and workplace culture. For example, instead of 'bringing those back home vibes,' you could use 'fostering a sense of community and belonging.' Also, instead of 'traditional wears,' you could use 'traditional attire.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, 'the all the employees' could be refined to 'all the employees'. Overall, the grammatical accuracy is strong and does not significantly impede understanding.

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