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Letter

Band 6+: You work a part-time job in a company, and the company posted an advert seeking a person for a full-time position. Write a letter to your manager requesting to apply for the advertised position. In your letter say, - Why do you want to apply? - What are your future goals? - Why would it be beneficial for the company?

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Respected Ms. Mary Swift,

I would like to express my interest in the saler position recently advertised at your rentail store.

Since I have already graduated, I have been searching for a full-time job for ages. I am particularly interested in this position because of my strong background as a business admintration student and I want to become a successful businessman later on in my life. Therefore, I believe that this profession is utterly suitable for me.

Regarding my experience, I am proficient in English, with a B2 certification, which allows me to communicate effectively in both preofessional and casual circumtances. Furthermore, I also joined many business related competition and campaign, winning one out of six and I have got a chance to go oversea.

If you hire me as a full-time employee, I am sincerely willing to be halpful and do my best to improve your company income. In addtion, you will not have to pay any costly expenses for me to train.

I am thankful for you to read this letter. I am hoping to participate in your company.

Yours sincerely,

Khan Waterson

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

6
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

7
The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, explaining the reasons for wanting the position, future goals, and benefits to the company. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but overall the letter is clear and understandable. To improve, focus on refining sentence structure and ensuring accurate grammar and word choice.

Coherence & Cohesion

6
The letter is generally coherent, but some sentences could be linked more smoothly to improve the flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas between paragraphs and within them. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition between your graduation and your interest in the position could be clearer. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

6
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it with more specific and professional terms related to the job and your aspirations. For instance, instead of 'improve your company income,' you could use phrases like 'enhance profitability' or 'contribute to revenue growth.' Also, vary your word choice to avoid repetition and demonstrate a broader lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5
The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, correct article usage (a/an/the), and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'saler position' should be 'sales position,' and 'business admintration student' should be 'business administration student.' Proofread carefully to catch these errors and consider using grammar resources to reinforce your understanding of English grammar rules.

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You work a part-time job in a company, and the company posted an advert seeking a person for a full-time position. Write a letter to your manager requesting to apply for the advertised position. In your letter say, – Why do you want to apply? – What are your future goals? – Why would it be beneficial for the company?

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