Letter

Band 5+: You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it

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Dear manager,

I am writing this letter to let you know my interest in working at the head office for six months.

As I am working here as a department head in the Vancouver branch since three years. I would be very happy if I get that chance to work in Toronto head office. During my time in Vancouver, I have performed my duties properly as per the role that I was doing from last years.

Furthermore, I would gain experience with a new system and would be able to build a wide professional network, which can be helpful for both my personal growth and the company.

Over here in Vancouver branch my assistant will do all the work on my behalf, as she is highly capable as well as I am confident in her. If there is anything she will not be able to manage, I will be available to assist at anytime.

I would appreciate if you could have the possibility of arrange overseas my transfer to the head office in the company.

Yours sincerely,

Riddhi Patel

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 4

office: 3

vancouver: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements, explaining the reasons for wanting to work at the head office, how the work could be done in the writer's absence, and a request for help in arranging the transfer. However, the letter could benefit from more specific details and a more formal tone in certain areas. For example, elaborating on the 'new system' and providing concrete examples of how the professional network would benefit the company would strengthen the response. Additionally, refining the language to be more precise and professional would enhance the overall impact.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider structuring your letter with a clear introduction stating your purpose, followed by paragraphs elaborating on your reasons, how your work will be covered, and your request for assistance. Using more explicit transition words and phrases would also enhance the flow between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to incorporate more specific and varied language to express your ideas more precisely. For example, instead of 'do all the work,' you could say 'manage the daily operations and responsibilities.' Also, avoid informal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, correct article usage (a/an/the), and sentence structure. For example, 'since three years' should be 'for three years,' and 'arrange overseas my transfer' should be 'arrange my transfer overseas.' Proofread carefully to catch these errors.

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