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Letter

Band 7+: You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part-time. Write a letter to your boss.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear M. Brawn,

I am writing to discuss my work schedule. I would like like to request a decrease in in my workload, because I have enrolled in baking course. I hope you can adjust my work hours to to accommodate these classes.

My course are in the morning on weekdays. Therefore, I am available to work on weekends and during the evenings. I can commit to working only 20_25 hours per week, because I want to dedicate ample time to my baking training.

I deeply think this will be useful for you in the future. Since I already work as a Bakery clerk, obtaining professional training in cake decorating and baking will allow me to assist you when there is a shortage staff.

I would greatly appreciate your consideration of my request, and I am open to further discussions on this matter.

Best regards,

Aalaa Ma

Word Count: 147

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Overall Band Score

7
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
baking: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

7
The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining the reason for the request and suggesting alternative work arrangements. To improve, provide more specific details about your current work schedule and the desired changes. Also, elaborate on how your baking skills could directly benefit the bakery, providing concrete examples. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

7
The letter is generally well-organized and the purpose is clear. However, there are some instances of repetition ('I would like like') and awkward phrasing that slightly affect the flow. Consider using varied sentence structures and avoiding unnecessary repetition to improve coherence. For example, combine some sentences to avoid short, choppy paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

7
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. While the words are appropriate, using more specific and varied vocabulary could enhance the letter. For example, instead of 'decrease in my workload,' you could use 'reduction in my working hours.' Also, 'shortage staff' could be rephrased for better clarity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6
The letter contains grammatical errors such as the repetition of 'in' and 'to,' and subject-verb agreement issues ('My course are'). There are also some phrasing issues that affect clarity. While the overall meaning is understandable, correcting these errors and refining the sentence structure would improve the grammatical accuracy and range. For example, rephrase 'I deeply think this will be useful' to 'I believe this will be beneficial'.

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