Letter

Band 7+: Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: • Say why you would like to go • Suggest what you could do to help during the trip • Ask some more questions about the trip

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Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter to request you to include my name for the upcoming 3-day international tour from your school.

Firstly, the reason why I am interested to attend this tour is because of our child who has some issues with his respiratory system. Currently, he is going through some medication which requires us to monitor him time to time. Hence, I would like to participate in this tour with my kid because of his medical complications.

Moreover, I am working as a teacher in day care from last 15 years. I strongly believe that my experience will help your team in maintaining good hospitality for the children.

Lastly, I am planning to pack some ready-made foods for the children and would like to ask if there are any specific ingredients that need to be avoided.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Thanks in advance!

Yours sincerely,

Shantan

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all requirements of the task, providing relevant and sufficient information regarding the reasons for wanting to join the trip, suggestions for help, and a question about dietary restrictions. There might be a slight lapse in fully elaborating on the types of help offered, but overall, the response is well-written and effectively communicates the intended message. To further enhance the response, consider adding more specific examples of how your experience as a teacher can directly benefit the trip, such as managing activities or assisting with younger children.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The purpose of the letter is clear, and each paragraph addresses a specific point as required by the task. Transitions between ideas are present but could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, in the second paragraph, you could directly link the child's respiratory issues to the need for your presence on the trip more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and effectively conveys the message. There is room to enhance the lexical resource by incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to the context of a school trip and parental assistance. For instance, instead of 'maintaining good hospitality,' you could use phrases like 'ensuring the well-being of the children' or 'providing pastoral care.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and article usage. For example, 'I am working as a teacher in day care from last 15 years' could be improved to 'I have been working as a teacher in a daycare for the last 15 years.' Reviewing and correcting these minor errors will further enhance the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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