Letter

Band 6+: Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: • Say why you would like to go • Suggest what you could do to help during the trip • Ask some more questions about the trip

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Dear Mr. Woods,

I am Patrick Roads, father of Terry in grade 8 of your school. Terry shared with me that the school is organizing a trip to Milan next month and has requested for the parents to join and help. I am writing this letter to share my interest in volunteering on the trip. My company works with the Italian embassy, and I have deep interest in Italian culture and history.

I believe that I can be helpful, because during school I took Italian as foreign language subject and have a strong proficiency. In addition to my extensive knowledge about Italy, I will be able to establish smooth communication between the group and local community as well.

I would like you to respond to a couple of queries of mine. First, will there be any experienced healthcare professionals in the group in case of emergency? Second, is school taking care of the travel insurance for the group members?

I will be waiting for your response.

Yours faithfully

Patrick Roads

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 4

italian: 3

group: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all requirements of the task, providing reasons for wanting to go, suggesting ways to help, and asking relevant questions. The content is relevant and sufficiently detailed. To improve, consider adding more specific examples of how you could assist during the trip to further enhance the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The purpose of the letter is clear, and the points are presented in a logical order. However, the transition between the reasons for wanting to go and the suggestions for help could be smoother. Consider using transition phrases to connect these ideas more explicitly. For example, you could add a sentence like, "Given my background and interest, I believe I can be helpful in several ways."

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and demonstrates a good range. Words like 'volunteering,' 'proficiency,' and 'extensive knowledge' are well-chosen. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more specific vocabulary related to school trips or assistance roles. For example, instead of 'help,' you could use 'supervise,' 'coordinate,' or 'facilitate.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are a few areas where accuracy could be improved. For example, 'during school I took Italian as foreign language subject and have a strong proficiency' could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Consider revising this to something like, 'During my school years, I studied Italian as a foreign language, and I have developed a strong proficiency in it.' Also, ensure consistent use of articles (a, an, the) where necessary.

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