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Band 5+: A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

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In this contemporary era, an improvement in socioeconomic conditions often appears to exclusively favour urban centres rather than agrarian communities. This essay intends to list a few possible factors behind this menace along with some corrective measures to address it.

One of the wide spread reasons is economic inequality. In countryside, people don’t get any great opportunity because of limited resources so that individual often obtain limited income from agricultural work. For example, recently times of India published article, in India 95% population are residing in cites so that individual can obtain better deal of money and opportunity. This shows that migrating in modern city not only getting chance of job but also it benefits in the economic development in long run. As a result, people feel discouraged to live in rural areas because of economic imbalance. Moreover, cities frequently get advanced technology compared to villages. In cities internet services are available 24*7 and also government invests more money to improve the infrastructure, whereas in rural areas people are struggling to use technology because of limited availability of high-speed internet and other services.

To mitigate this issue, firstly companies or industries should invest in rural areas. If the companies and industries open a branch in rural areas people get same income and opportunity as people who residing in city. For example, In Gujarat, many companies are opening their branches so that people can get better job opportunity in different areas. Apart from this, authorities should equally prioritise to allocate fund for rural and city. In countryside people get better facility in term of technology same as city’s individual take.

In the crux of the matter, economic inequality and advanced technology are in the root of this concern, which can be overcome by industries invest in rural areas and equally prioritise the funds.

Word Count: 302

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

rural: 6

areas: 6

economic: 4

opportunity: 4

technology: 4

because: 3

limited: 3

individual: 3

better: 3

companies: 3

industries: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt. You have identified problems (economic inequality and technological disparity) and suggested solutions (industrial investment and equal fund allocation). A clear position is maintained throughout the response. To improve your score, focus on the following areas: 1. **Development of Ideas**: While you identify problems, the explanation of *why* these problems are harmful (the 'problems' requested by the prompt) could be more explicit. For example, instead of just saying people feel discouraged, explain the consequences, such as urban overcrowding or the collapse of rural economies. 2. **Precision and Logic**: Some arguments lack logical precision. For instance, the example regarding India's population residing in cities is used to explain why people migrate, but it doesn't directly support the idea of 'economic inequality' as a cause of the standard of living gap; it describes the result of the gap. 3. **Grammatical Accuracy and Vocabulary**: There are several errors in sentence structure, article usage, and word choice (e.g., 'In countryside', 'recently times of India published article', 'In the crux of the matter'). Improving your control over complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help elevate the academic tone of the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing the problems and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next. Avoid repetitive sentence structures and ensure that the relationship between your examples and your main points is explicitly clear.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the main ideas, but there is a lack of precision and variety. There are several instances of incorrect word choices (e.g., 'this menace', 'better deal of money', 'in the crux of the matter') and repetitive use of basic terms. To reach a higher band, aim to use more academic and collocated expressions, such as 'socioeconomic disparities' instead of 'economic imbalance' or 'infrastructure development' instead of 'better facility'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., '95% population are residing'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence constructions (e.g., 'migrating in modern city not only getting chance of job'). There is an attempt at complex sentences, but they often lack accuracy. Focus on mastering fundamental grammar rules, particularly tense consistency, pluralization, and the correct use of relative clauses, to ensure your meaning is communicated clearly.

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Band 5+: A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

Other Topics:

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Nowadays, many people are able to work from home. Do the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

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