Multi Part

Band 5+: An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, many professionals such as teachers and doctors has interested moving abroad for better career opportunities, leaving their own nation. This can be attributed for securing a stable career and earning higher salaries. This issues can be reduced, if governments and firms can take some practical measures such as providing career development opportunities, increasing payrolls, and ensuring better standard of living.

It is irrefutable that every person want career progression or development after starting a full-time work. Human beings are generally adoptable and always optimistic to change their current situation through financial prosperity. Therefore, when professionals are getting better career opportunities to abroad, they do not think twice and leave the country. Moreover, it is evident that overseas working experiences can open up a wide range of career opportunities; also many organizations have valued those employees who have international work experiences. Furthermore, another potential factor is salaries. Professionals who get the chance to work abroad can earn more then working in their own country, and this is the prime reason to move another country.

To solve this situation, governments and organizations should play an important role towards different professionals. To begin with, both the private and public sectors should provide some practical facilities and career development opportunities such as, increasing yearly salary, organizing pension after retirement, and promoting employees based on talent and capability. Moreover, governments should also provide a safe and secure society where people can get quality healthcare, children can get proper education, and every professional get flexible working hours so that they can balance personal and professional lives.

In conclusion, professionals are now shifting towards abroad and ultimately leave their own country mainly due to fewer career development opportunities and lower income. To mitigate this issue governments and organizations need to provide some practical financial and work related benefits at the same time can ensure a safe and secure lives.

Word Count: 315

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

career: 8

professionals: 5

opportunities: 5

abroad: 4

their: 4

governments: 4

development: 4

better: 3

practical: 3

country: 3

working: 3

organizations: 3

should: 3

provide: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, discussing both the problems caused by professionals leaving poorer countries and potential solutions. A clear position is presented, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and precision. For example, the problems are not fully explored in terms of their impact on the home country (e.g., healthcare and education shortages), and the solutions are somewhat generic. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the consequences and measures. Additionally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are logically organized, and the response addresses both parts of the question. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and a few unclear references (e.g., 'This issues can be reduced' and 'every professional get flexible working hours'). The use of cohesive devices is basic, and some transitions could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with supporting sentences that flow naturally.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'career progression', 'financial prosperity', and 'practical facilities'. There are attempts at more sophisticated phrases, but some word choices are imprecise or incorrect (e.g., 'has interested moving abroad' should be 'are interested in moving abroad', 'adoptable' should be 'adaptable', 'more then' should be 'more than'). To improve, expand your vocabulary for discussing problems and solutions, and pay attention to collocations and word forms. Using more precise and natural expressions will enhance the overall quality. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('professionals... has interested' should be 'professionals... are interested'), incorrect use of prepositions ('attributed for' should be 'attributed to'), and issues with pluralization and articles ('This issues' should be 'These issues', 'a safe and secure lives' should be 'a safe and secure life'). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons or awkwardly constructed. To improve, review grammar rules for subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and articles, and practice writing more varied sentence structures with accurate control.

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