Discussion

Band 6+: Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

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Nowadays, our world is closely united by globalization. While some individuals argue that it could present substantial benefits such as low-costed goods and economic growth, others might pay attention to significant drawbacks, such as traffic problems and shortage of jobs. I believe, even if goods are affordable by globalisation, its negative affect on workplaces and infrastracture should not be ignored.

On the one hand, international trade opens doors to a wide choice of products and can moderately boost businesses. By globalization, humanity is able to buy high-quality technology, fashionable clothes, while relaxing at home. For example, cutting edge and widely-known apps like Amazon or Temu, which are used by millions, offer custumers a huge selection of products at competetive prices. Additionaly, the development of globalisation rapidly expands companies. Consequently, many local shops are able to increase their sales and cooperate with foreign partners. From my perspective, it might be a perfect chance to gain new opportunities and to stimulate the economic growth of a country.

On the other hand, the proccess of globalisation might cause serious environmental problems. While transporting products regularly by trucks worldwide, a wide list of urban areas could face traffic congestion. As a result, citizens may suffer from poor air quality, health issues and endless hours spent in traffic jams. Furthermore, globalisation could lead to job losses. Nowadays, large companies tend to move their factories to other countries where labor is cheaper. As a result, many local businesses are forced to close down and a growing number of workers loses their job. I believe, that goverments should pay more attention to solve these problems.

In conclusion, while globalisation plays an essential role by fostering economic development and providing humanity cheaper goods, it also causes job shortages and traffic congestion. In my opinion, the state needs to strike a balance between global economic growth and the daily comfort of local people.

Word Count: 314

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

globalisation: 5

while: 4

economic: 4

traffic: 4

could: 3

goods: 3

growth: 3

might: 3

products: 3

local: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position, which is good. The arguments are relevant and supported with examples, but there are some lapses in precision and development. For instance, the economic benefits are described somewhat generally, and the negative impacts could be more thoroughly explored. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with specific details and that the language is precise (e.g., correct spelling and word choice). Additionally, the conclusion could more strongly restate your opinion and summarize the key points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. The introduction presents both views and the writer's opinion, and each body paragraph focuses on one side. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the conclusion could more explicitly restate the writer's opinion. Minor lapses in cohesion are present, such as the abrupt shift from discussing benefits to drawbacks.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, such as 'international trade', 'economic growth', 'traffic congestion', and 'job losses'. There are attempts at less common words like 'substantial' and 'stimulate'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'low-costed', 'infrastracture', 'custumers', 'competetive', 'Additionaly', 'proccess', 'goverments') and some awkward phrasing (e.g., 'By globalization, humanity is able to buy...'). The range is adequate but not fully flexible or precise. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, with some accurate use of subordinate clauses. However, there are noticeable grammar errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('workers loses their job'), incorrect word forms ('low-costed', 'negative affect' should be 'effect'), and punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas after introductory phrases). The range is not fully controlled, and errors occasionally impede clarity.

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Lexical Resource

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