Opinion

Band 5+: Health care should not be provided for free regardless of a person's income. The health of a person is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. Do you agree with this opinion?

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Nowadays, it is believed that goverment have to provide citizens with free medical treatment, however, some individuals consist that free public healthcare system is not nessesery. From my perspective, free treatement is significant in every country, as it is a basic human right and since health problems are not a personal choice.

Firstly, free medical treatment should be one of the main responsobilities of goverment because healthcare is a basic human need. To clarify, states have to support their citizens

in order to prevent epidemics which could be dangerous for individuals. For instance, during coronovirus, the mortal rates in countries without free medical treatment (as Japan and the USA) were higher than mortal rates in states where all individuals have access to the medicin (as Russia).

Secondly, people can not influence on their deseases, therefore people are not responsible for their health problems. Genetics, accidents and environment can affect individuals. Consecuently, people do not have to struggle with their mental problems alone, goverment should support them. For example, the president of Russia claimed in his speech that free medical healthcare system in the country helps citizens, as they do not have to cope with illnecess alone. Moreover, in the president’s opinion, people do not have to be responsible for dangerous environment.

To sum up, from my point of view, states should maintan fisical and mental well-beeing of individuals by providing free medical treatement since it is one of the crucial responsobilities of the governments and since people are not responsible for their illnesses.

Word Count: 253

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

medical: 5

individuals: 5

their: 5

people: 5

goverment: 3

treatment: 3

healthcare: 3

since: 3

problems: 3

should: 3

states: 3

responsible: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, although some examples could be more directly linked to the arguments. To improve, focus on providing more precise and focused support for your main ideas, and ensure that all examples are clearly relevant to the points you are making.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more explicit connections between ideas. For example, in the second paragraph, the link between government responsibility and preventing epidemics could be more clearly articulated. In the third paragraph, the connection between diseases being beyond personal control and the government's role in mental health support needs further clarification.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice ('consist' instead of 'insist', 'treatement' instead of 'treatment', 'responsobilities' instead of 'responsibilities', 'mortal' instead of 'mortality', 'illnecess' instead of 'illness', 'fisical' instead of 'physical'). Expanding your vocabulary and ensuring accurate usage would improve the clarity and sophistication of your writing. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms and pay attention to collocations. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect article usage. For example, 'goverment have to provide' should be 'governments have to provide', and 'people can not influence on their deseases' should be 'people cannot influence their diseases'. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully for errors before submitting your work is essential.

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