Opinion

Band 5+: Improvment in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Reconstruction in medical, knowledge, and trade are crucial for the improvement of impoverished countries. However, the authorities of wealthier countries have to handle the duty of minding the needy countries in certain places. I slightly agree with the advancing view, since improvising is highly crucial in these decades.

Poverty is a common issue that appears in impoverished countries. The main factors that caused this is inconsistency that branches at poor areas. Therefore, Improvement is needed to avoid several troubles that might threaten the financial of the land such as enhancing the medical aspect, and also the education to provide better inhabitants for superior assets that are highly beneficial for the future life. In fact, five out of ten wealth countries have a proper facilities to encourage their civilians.

In addition, the consequence might arise for the country that shows terrible maintenance such as instability of economy, low-intelligence of people, and political chaos that cause plenty of troubles. As a result of that, poverty is the most relatable thing that could happen. As far as a disciplined lifestyle applied, that probability will never happen. Wealth countries prioritize improvement besides all things. Although, it is do not as easy as it seems. Despite that, As a responsible citizen it is crucial to take a duty to enchance the financial issue and also make sure the country is in stable conditions.

In conclusion, the reconstruction of countries is highly essential for better civilian’s life and the authorities that will command the nation properly with honesty and wisely

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

countries: 7

crucial: 3

improvement: 3

highly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing the importance of improvements in poorer nations and the role of richer nations. However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks sufficient depth. The position is present but not always clear, and there is some repetition. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and contributes to a well-developed overall argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but the connections between paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions between sentences and ideas are often weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument effortlessly. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your reasoning. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' or 'Therefore' to signal the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice ('minding the needy countries,' 'improvising is highly crucial'). The vocabulary sometimes lacks precision, which affects the clarity of the message. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate context for different words. For example, instead of 'minding the needy countries,' consider using 'assisting poorer nations' or 'supporting developing countries.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. These errors frequently impede understanding. There is a limited range of sentence structures, and complex sentences often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review the rules for article usage (a, an, the) and subject-verb agreement. Also, try to vary your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging.

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