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Band 6+: In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why it is? What methods could be taken to reduce this problem?

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Nowadays, large cities in many countries expandingrapidly and becoming overcrowded. This essay will discuss the main reasons for this problem and suggest possible solutions to reduce it.

Firstly, one important factor contributing to the overcrowding of cities is lack of job opportunities and limited educational facilities in the countryside. Many people leave their villages and small towns to find better employment and universities in urban centers, which increases the population density. For example,a high proportion of students often move to Tashkent to study or work. There are many good career prospects because of the large number of buildings and companies the capital of Uzbekistan is Tashkent. Another reason is shortage of proper infrastructure in rural areas, such as roads, healthcare and mobile networks coverage. An example of my own experience is, I struggled to call my parents and I had difficulty using the internet when I visited my grandmother’s house in the countryside. So that, I realized that city life is very convenient.

In order to reduce overpopulation in cities, several measures would be taken. First solution is governments should create more employment opportunities in outside the city. This measure keeps humans from moving to big cities. Second method, the state must build modern educational facilities, universities, schools and learning centers. From this way students have opportunity to improve their knowledge in their hometown. In addition, if healthcare and transport infrastructure will be developed in the countryside this step is beneficial to reduce overcrowded in major cities. By collaborating with each local community all problems can be effectively resolved.

In conclusion, the overcrowding of cities is a serious problem today. This is mainly caused by the lack of job opportunities in rural areas. To solve this issue, the state should create more employment opportunities and modern educational centers outside big cities. By implementing these measures, population pressure in urban areas can be effectively reduced.

Word Count: 314

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

cities: 7

opportunities: 4

reduce: 3

educational: 3

countryside: 3

their: 3

employment: 3

centers: 3

areas: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the task appropriately, presenting a clear position and relevant ideas. The reasons for overcrowding and suggested solutions are generally well-explained, with some support and examples. However, there could be more focus and precision in developing some of the supporting ideas. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained and supported with specific examples or evidence. Also, consider exploring the interconnectedness of the reasons and solutions for a more nuanced discussion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but there are instances where the flow could be smoother. The introduction and conclusion adequately frame the topic. However, the connection between some sentences within paragraphs could be strengthened to improve the overall coherence. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition between the example of Tashkent and the subsequent point about infrastructure could be clearer. Consider using transition words or phrases to guide the reader more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one to maintain a consistent and easy-to-follow argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there's room for improvement in terms of sophistication and precision. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, some word choices could be more natural and nuanced. For instance, instead of 'keeps humans from moving,' consider a more idiomatic expression like 'discourages people from relocating.' To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and less common vocabulary where appropriate, and focus on using words that precisely convey your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors occasionally impede clarity. There are instances of incorrect verb tense ('expandingrapidly'), missing articles ('lack of job opportunities'), and awkward phrasing ('From this way students have opportunity'). To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work, paying attention to verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Practice using a wider range of grammatical structures with accuracy to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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Band 6+: In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why it is? What methods could be taken to reduce this problem?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why it is? What methods could be taken to reduce this problem?

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