Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some urban areas, public spaces are converted into gardens that people use for agricultural purposes. It is beneficial for local residents to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. I believe that this development has more benefits than drawbacks due to the various compelling reasons I discussed further in this essay.

The general public can grow edible things in gardens that help them to use fresh fruits and vegetables all the time. The citizens mostly use stored things rather than fresh one’s. This poses serious problems to them including stomach issues and heart diseases. Since; they do not have enough places in cities to grow their own fruits, this modification gives them an agricultural land. Newly growing edible things are beneficial for people and make them more energetic and healthy.

Another benefit of this conversion is to overcome the economic problems. Individuals not only get fresh vegetables but also mitigate their financial constraints. They flourish edible things in these gardens and after selling these items in the market. Consequently, they increase thier revenue.

However, it is important to acknowledged that there are potential downsides for this development. The public parks play a significant role in maintaining the health issues. People go for a walk in local parks and perform healthy activities that unwind them and recharge their batteries. But if public parks are converted into farm land, then people have less space to workout that makes them ill.

To sum up, it can be said that; in cities conversion of public parks into agricultral land has more prons than cons.

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

public: 5

people: 4

fresh: 4

things: 4

parks: 4

gardens: 3

fruits: 3

vegetables: 3

edible: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The main ideas are relevant, such as the health benefits of fresh produce and the economic advantages for residents. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the first body paragraph repeats the idea of 'fresh fruits and vegetables' multiple times without expanding on the social or environmental aspects of community gardening. To improve, you should aim to extend your arguments more deeply. Instead of just stating that people will be healthier, you could discuss how community gardens foster social cohesion or reduce the carbon footprint of food transport. Additionally, ensure that your supporting points are more precise; for example, the claim that people 'mostly use stored things' is a broad generalization that could be better phrased. Finally, be careful with grammatical accuracy and punctuation (e.g., the use of semicolons and the spelling of 'thier' and 'prons') to ensure the flow of ideas is not interrupted.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by abrupt transitions and punctuation errors. For example, the use of semicolons (e.g., 'Since; they do not...') is incorrect and disrupts the flow. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (linking words) to connect sentences more smoothly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that guides the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks sophistication. Terms like 'edible things' and 'stored things' are quite informal and imprecise for an academic essay; instead, consider using 'produce,' 'crops,' or 'processed foods.' There are also spelling errors (e.g., 'thier', 'prons', 'agricultral') and awkward collocations (e.g., 'flourish edible things' instead of 'cultivate crops'). Aim to use more precise, academic synonyms to demonstrate a higher level of lexical control. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence attempts, but frequent errors in grammar and punctuation occur. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect use of apostrophes (e.g., 'one's' instead of 'ones'), and improper verb forms (e.g., 'important to acknowledged'). Punctuation errors, particularly with semicolons and commas, affect the readability of the text. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures (such as relative clauses and conditional sentences) more accurately and review basic punctuation rules.

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Band 5+: In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

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