Cause And Solution

Band 4+: In some countries, it is becoming increasingly difficult for young people to find full-time careers after they graduate from university. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

In some countries, young people are more difficult to find full-time careers after they graduate from university than past year. There are some opinions of such problem to get full-time jobs. In the essay, we are going to describe the problems and solutions about the matter.

One of the reason why recent university students are becoming difficultly to find full-time jobs is that they do not have enough time to study. Many students work as part-time jobs to get more money. However, some of those work more time because they have to earn and manage the fees of university. In addition, fee has been gradually increasing. Therefore, it is difficult to allocate the enough time to study and prepare for seeking the jobs.

Regarding the problem, universities should support more actively such student who are facing financial problem. Of course, some organizations have already supported offering scolarship. However, offering slots of scolarship are not enough, so some student do not meet the requirement. In my opinion, companies also sould support providing interns or side-jobs for the student. There are some strong points between companies and students. In terms of companies, they are able to find the potential student. Regaring students, they can contact for company’s human resouces, making imagination to work the company.

In conclusion, recent young people are becoming difficultly to find full-time career in some countries. In my opinion, universities should support more actively providing the chance of scolarship. Also, companies have to offer the oppotunities of interns or side-jobs.

Word Count: 252

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

full-time: 4

students: 4

student: 4

companies: 4

university: 3

problem: 3

enough: 3

support: 3

scolarship: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying a cause (financial pressure leading to lack of study time) and suggesting solutions (scholarships and internships). However, the development of these ideas is limited. The connection between the cause and the problem of 'finding a career' could be more explicitly explained - for example, by stating that part-time work prevents students from gaining the necessary skills or qualifications. To improve, you should aim to expand on your main points with more depth. Instead of just stating that scholarships are insufficient, explain how increasing scholarship availability would directly solve the problem of students being too busy with part-time work. Additionally, ensure that your position is consistently developed throughout the body paragraphs. Work on grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding word forms (e.g., using 'it is difficult for students' instead of 'students are becoming difficultly'), to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by awkward phrasing. The introduction uses a 'roadmap' sentence ('In the essay, we are going to describe...') which is considered somewhat formulaic and less sophisticated in academic writing. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (like 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', or 'As a result') more naturally to link your ideas, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence that guides the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and repetitive. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'scolarship', 'sould', 'oppotunities') and incorrect word forms (e.g., using 'difficultly' instead of 'difficulty'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of academic vocabulary and pay closer attention to word formation. For example, instead of saying 'get more money', you could use 'supplement their income' or 'cover living expenses'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally make it difficult to understand the intended meaning. Common issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect article usage (e.g., 'the enough time'), and awkward sentence constructions (e.g., 'young people are more difficult to find'). You should practice sentence structures that allow you to express complex ideas, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, and focus on the correct use of adjectives versus adverbs.

Essays On The Same Topic:

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly difficult for young people to find full-time careers after they graduate from university. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Students are excited to be part of our society by working after they graduate. Unfortunately, it has become hard to find a full-time job for young people after their graduation from university, as the world has been developing. I assume that the main reasons for this phenomenon are related to Artificial Intelligence(AI) and the global […]

Band 5+

See All

Some people think that governments should spend money on sport facilities for training top athletes, while others argue that they should spend money on sport facilities for everybody.

There is an ongoing debate whether governments should allocate more funds to sport facilities for the best athletes, whereas others believe that this investment should be spent on sport facilities for the general public.This essay will examine both perspectives and I will explain why I support the former view. More money should be spent on […]

Band 4+

Parents should encourage their children to spend more time doing activities than studying. Agree&Disagree

Nowadays, some people think that parents should encourage their children to spend most part of their time by doing physical activities, rather than studying. I disagree with this point of view and in this essay i will give my explanations. According to some, children should do physical activities more than studying. I do not agree […]

Band 4+

The use of electric vehicles is increasing around the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

In recent years, electric cars have becoming increasingly popular around the world. While this trend offers several benefits, it also brings some drawbacks that should be considered. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this development. One of the main benefits of electric cars is that they help protect the environment. Older […]

Band 8+

It is important for a government to spend money on vocational training and practical programs (e.g. fixing cars, hairdressing) than on education in universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argue that financial investment should be allocated more on skills and vocational training such as car maintenance and hairdressing than on university education. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement. To begin with, it is understandable that many people prefer investment in practical work. They believe that not everyone is capable […]

Band 7+

Some people believe that schools should teach practical skills, while others argue that academic subjects are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Several individuals think that schools have to focus heavily only on theoretical courses. On the other hand, others disagree, arguing that pupils should spend their time on practical abilities. Therefore this essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why pupils can benefit more from balancing both skills. Academic courses are mandatory subjects in schools to […]

Band 6+

In many countries, to reduce traffic accidents, governments should encourage cyclists and set an age limit for driving licences. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, traffic accident has increased in the countries like India, China, United States. To reduce traffic accident, some people believe that government should encourage the cyclist whereas, others think that people should drive after a certain age. I feel that both perspective are correct and should be given equal importance. Countries like India, China, United […]

Band 5+

See All