Opinion

Band 5+: It has been said," not everything that is learned is contained in books" compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Say why

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Nowadays, there are many methods of gaining new knowledge, but acquiring knowledge from people’s experience and books are the most workable ways. In this essay, I will consider this topic from both perspectives, and give own opinion accordingly.

On the one hand, books have an enormous impact on individuals. Thanks for this source, people gain a large amount of new information and knowledge. For instance, due to reading books, human’s brain becomes more developed, and individuals learn a lot of new things. Furthermore, books contain a lot of theoretical material and have the most reliable and authentic information. That’s why, books are one of the most significant source for studying and obtaining new knowledge.

However, reading books is not enough for whole consolidation of obtained information. It is also necessary to practice, in order to keep in person’s mind, because books are solely theoretical source, and the majority part of gained knowledge is preserved by own experience and practice.

To sum up, from my point of view, both sources complement each other and they are crucial for full consolidation of new acquired information.

Word Count: 183

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

books: 7

knowledge: 4

information: 4

source: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing knowledge gained from experience and books. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the benefits and drawbacks of each source of knowledge. Also, strengthen your personal opinion by providing a more detailed explanation of why you believe both sources are crucial. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas into paragraphs, but the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. For example, the shift from the benefits of books to the necessity of practice could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., "a large amount of new information"). Try to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. Also, pay attention to collocations to ensure natural language use. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Errors in article usage, verb tense, and sentence structure are present. For example, "Thanks for this source" is not idiomatic. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. Vary your sentence structures to enhance the complexity and sophistication of your writing.

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