Discussion

Band 5+: It is argued by some that the foremost environmental issue facing the world today is the disappearance of certain plant and animal species. Others contend that there are environmental issues of far greater significance. Discuss both perspectives and provide your own opinion.

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Some people are convinced that the greatest environmental issue facing the world today is the disappearance of certain plant and animal species. Others hold a belief that there are environmental issues of far greater impact. In my perspective, the second opinion is a well-justified view for several key reasons, which is why I fully agree with that.

Speaking of the first group of surveyed, they want to save everything alive around us as every creature plays a significant role in animal food chain.1 Plants creates an oxygen, this is necessary for human ans animal lives. It is thought-provoking as if we think about lives at first, we can forget about global warming, earthquakes and floods, which are able to kill the planet ever.

Off the top of my head, it is a double-edged sword, we can not choose only one option. Nevertheless, if we think about handling globaller problems we think about disappearing the diversity of species too. Overall, solving the problems of air pollution, water pollution, global warming are the crucial issues for the future. For instance, many turtles and fish were died due to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch near Hawaii and California. Discussing this issue, we talk about water pollution at first and we try to find the decisions for that. Due to global farming ice in Antarctica became melt and penguins started to die because of warm weather conditions, the have to find new places for surviving and hide their offspring from the Sun. They have less territory for living and immigration for them remained only possible decision to cope with these difficulties. It makes their life miserable.

From my point of view, the population has many pivotal environmental problems and saving species is not the most substantial. Salient points like global warming and water pollution play higher role for humanity, animals, and plants than we can expect.

Word Count: 312

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 5

global: 4

pollution: 4

environmental: 3

animal: 3

species: 3

first: 3

think: 3

warming: 3

problems: 3

water: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both perspectives and presents a clear position, which meets the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The first paragraph introduces the topic and states your opinion, but the discussion of the first viewpoint is brief and contains some unclear reasoning. The second paragraph attempts to support your opinion with examples, but the connection between the examples and the argument could be clearer. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, develop your ideas with more specific and relevant support, and avoid vague or repetitive statements. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the shift from discussing the first group's view to the second paragraph's examples is not smooth. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Speaking of the first group of surveyed' and 'Off the top of my head'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate distinct ideas. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and logical linking words to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For instance, 'globaller problems' should be 'more global problems', and 'the first group of surveyed' is not idiomatic. Some word choices are imprecise (e.g., 'creates an oxygen' should be 'produce oxygen', 'the have' should be 'they have'). However, there are some good attempts at using less common vocabulary (e.g., 'pivotal', 'substantial', 'double-edged sword'). To improve, focus on using collocations and precise terms, and proofread to eliminate errors. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('Plants creates'), article usage ('an oxygen'), and tense consistency ('many turtles and fish were died' should be 'have died'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and run-on sentences. While some complex structures are attempted, they are not always controlled. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing complex sentences accurately, and carefully proofread your work.

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