Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 6+: It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantage of change outweighs its disadvantage?

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Changes are often considered more beneficial to people than trying to escape them and make everything stay the same. In the essay below, I will understand both sides of the opinions. Firstly, I will show how changes can make your life better. Secondly, I will discuss all the drawbacks of leaving everything remain the same.

To begin with, there are several examples for this topic. The prime advantage of not avoiding changes is that every change is a particular opportunity which can change your life radically. For example, someone is moving abroad for study purposes. They might feel awful and awkward at first, but after they adapt, life gets easier. Then, after they graduate, they are able to choose to move back to where they had been living or start a new life there. Or, for instance, you start reading or doing sports. At first view, it is something basic, but with time this small change will show its benefits.

On the other hand, there are strong statements for this idea. Suppose that you do not change anything. What bad can happen? People are afraid that if they make one mistake or several changes, their life can be destroyed. Besides that, some people consider that if they have shifts, then they will lose their identity.

To sum up, I agree with all viewpoints to an extent. However, from my perspective, changes are essential to become better. You are able to remain everything the same. However, the day when you will regret for things you have not done will come.

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

changes: 5

change: 4

people: 3

everything: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the potential drawbacks of change. Also, ensure a clearer focus and more precise support for your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, and transitions are used to connect different parts of the essay. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow of the writing. For example, in the second body paragraph, the transition to discussing the drawbacks of avoiding change could be more explicit. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to further improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated language. Some phrases are a bit basic (e.g., "make your life better," "something basic"). Try to incorporate more nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. For instance, instead of "make your life better," you could use phrases like "enhance your well-being" or "improve your quality of life." Also, focus on using collocations and idiomatic expressions appropriately to add depth to your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some noticeable errors that affect clarity. While the sentences are generally understandable, there are instances of incorrect word choice and sentence structure. For example, "leaving everything remain the same" could be improved to "keeping everything the same." To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate use of articles and prepositions. Pay close attention to sentence structure to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.

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