Opinion

Band 6+: It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that the governments use huge amounts of funds to finance wildlife conservation programs, while other pressing issues linger. I totally disagree with this notion because wildlife preservations promote tourism and create employment for the youths.

First of all, projects set up by states to reserve and protect wild animals attract tourists into such countries. People travel from far places to tour countries to enjoy the sight of endangered species and other animals that are conserved through intentional government projects. For example, tourists from Europe visit South Africa frequently to tour various animal conservation parks in the country. This generates revenues for the country to foster developments in other sectors.

Furthermore, animal protection programs create employment for the youths. Such initiatives create many employment portfolios which can absorb thousands of people in the countries. Safari Eco Park for example, a popular wildlife park in Ghana which has served as a safe environment for animals such as zebras, lions and many more has employed security men, tour guards, and many others. This reduces the burden of the nations in terms of job shortage.

In conclusion, many people argue that individuals in power use most of the countries’ resources to preserve wild animals. I, however, disagree totally because not only does it enhance tourism, it also reduces unemployment among citizens.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

animals: 4

wildlife: 3

other: 3

create: 3

employment: 3

countries: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development of these ideas could be more precise and focused. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained and directly linked back to the main argument, avoiding generalizations. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and maintains it throughout. The arguments are logically organized, and the use of examples helps to illustrate the points. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more sophisticated to fully capture the nuances of the argument. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, and the word choice is generally appropriate. However, there are opportunities to use more precise and sophisticated language to elevate the writing. For example, instead of 'huge amounts of funds,' consider using more specific terms like 'substantial financial resources' or 'significant budgetary allocations.' Also, explore synonyms for commonly used words to add depth to your vocabulary.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. Sentence structures are generally varied and accurate. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage to eliminate minor errors. Proofreading carefully can help catch these small mistakes.

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Band 6+: It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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