Opinion

Band 5+: It was predicted that people in the twenty-first century have more free time than before because of the improvements of technology. To what extent do you think this prediction has come true?

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People living in the twenty-first century were predicted to have more leisure than the past generations due to the developments of technology. While some people thought modern lifestyle and machines’ maintenances actually limited the amount of workers’ free time, I assume that technology would reduce the workload since they could replace human in all the labour work and promote automation.

Due to the improvements of technology, employees’ workload could be reduced thanks to automatic machines. This does not only allow workers to get their job done more effectively, but also improving their health since they get more time to rest. Studies indicate that installing modern machines into workplaces can brighten employees’ mood and prevent potential health risk from overworking.

Despite many benefits of technology, some individuals think otherwise. Admittedly, machines can not repair themselve, so installing a lot of machines might not provide effective results, but actually increase the workers’ workload and affect both physical and mental health. Nevertheless, machine maintenance work does not usually take as much time as working manually, therefore providing more free time for workers.

In conclusion, although the maintenances work for technology are believed to increase employees’ workload, they in fact not only enchances working performances but workers’ health. From my point of view, I believe that technology improve individuals quality of life and providing more leisure time for future society.

Word Count: 226

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

technology: 6

workload: 4

machines: 4

health: 4

workers': 3

employees': 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing whether the prediction of more free time due to technology has come true. A clear position is presented (that technology does provide more free time). However, the development of ideas lacks depth and precision. The argument about machines reducing workload is mentioned but not fully extended with specific examples or evidence. The counterargument about machine maintenance is acknowledged but dismissed too briefly. The conclusion restates the position but does not fully synthesize the discussion. To improve, provide more detailed examples or data to support claims, and ensure each paragraph develops a single idea clearly with logical progression. Also, avoid minor grammatical errors and improve word choice (e.g., 'maintenances' should be 'maintenance', 'enchances' should be 'enhances'). The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear connections between ideas. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive. To improve, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is fully developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some good attempts at using topic-specific terms like 'automation' and 'workload'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'brighten employees' mood' could be 'improve employee morale') and some awkward phrasing (e.g., 'machines' maintenances'). To improve, focus on using more natural and sophisticated collocations, and ensure that all vocabulary is used accurately in context. Avoid repetition of words like 'machines' and 'workload'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'technology improve'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'maintenances', 'themselve'), and issues with articles and prepositions. There are also some sentence structure problems, such as run-on sentences and incomplete comparisons. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and plural forms. Practice writing a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and proofread carefully to catch errors.

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