Positive And Negative

Band 5+: Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is his a positive or negative development?

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In this modern epoch, with the advancement of technology plethora of games are available for people according to their preference. While, a majority of mature individuals are playing games on online platforms for multifarious purpose instead of youngster. Whereas, these platforms are running World Wide for various reasons which I will elaborate in the subsequent paragraphs along with its constructive effect on people.

To commence with the predominant aspect is that, mostly workaholic people are playing online games to get relief from their workload because in this fast-faced life everyone have hectic schedule due to their work. To explain it, a vast proportion of adult individuals play games to divert their stress in their leisure time. Another pivotal aspect is that, it is a good source of income for some individuals by playing online games on different platforms or, by creating websites regarding games to attract the teenagers towards the gaming platforms by subscribing, and purchasing game equipment packages according to their need. Consequently, playing online games assist people through many ways.

Moving towards the positive growth of gaming platforms is that, it has multifarious uses of technical things likewise advanced graphics, texture which helps the creative person to boost their skills by enhancing their knowledge towards technical features of games. To illustrate it, mostly games are designed on the basis of educational as well as technical things which are good for people mental health by enhancing their grasp on technological activities. The World Health Organisation revealed that those people brain is sharp who played online games as compared to other people who don’t the fact is that humans get relief from worries so they can easily concentrate on every tasks.

In conclusion, there are various reasons for mankind to spend their free time on games rather than other activities although it provides potential benefits to them by open other paths to focus on their ability in a positive way.

Word Count: 320

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 11

their: 11

people: 6

online: 5

platforms: 5

playing: 4

individuals: 3

which: 3

towards: 3

technical: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for adults playing computer games and arguing that it is a positive development. A position is presented, and main ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and precision, with some points being general or under-supported. The response could be improved by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the negative aspects, as the prompt asks for a balanced evaluation. Additionally, the essay would benefit from clearer paragraph structure and more precise language to enhance clarity and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the introduction is overly long and contains a confusing clause ('Whereas, these platforms are running World Wide for various reasons'). The body paragraphs present relevant points but the progression from one idea to the next could be smoother. Use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'on the other hand') to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences support that topic.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary (e.g., 'multifarious', 'predominant', 'pivotal', 'constructive effect'), which is good. However, there are several instances of inaccurate word choice and collocation errors, such as 'fast-faced life' (should be 'fast-paced life'), 'divert their stress' (better: 'relieve their stress'), and 'open other paths' (better: 'open up other paths'). The phrase 'running World Wide' is not idiomatic. To improve, focus on using words in their correct context and avoid direct translations. Also, vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition (e.g., 'games' is used repeatedly). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'everyone have' should be 'everyone has'), article usage (e.g., 'a majority of mature individuals' is acceptable but 'the fact is that humans get relief' needs an article), and sentence structure (e.g., 'The World Health Organisation revealed that those people brain is sharp' is ungrammatical; should be 'those people's brains are sharp'). There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect use of commas. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, articles, and possessive forms. Practice writing more complex sentences with correct punctuation.

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Band 5+: Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is his a positive or negative development?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is his a positive or negative development?

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is his a positive or negative development?

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is his a positive or negative development?

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is his a positive or negative development?

Other Topics:

Many students find it difficult to concentrate at school. What are the reasons and what solutions can you suggest?

It is widely argued that governments should make higher education free so that every individual, regardless of their financial background, has the freedom to study further. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that young people should be encouraged to travel to other countries to learn about different cultures. Others believe that there are better ways to learn about other cultures. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people hesitate between getting a job and starting their own business. While the idea of not having a boss and working on one's own schedule may sound tempting, financial risks and stress sometimes outweigh these advantages. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of working in a company?

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of 3 of the following as media for communicating information.State which you consider to be the mist effective. -comics -books -radio -television -film -theatre

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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