Cause And Solution

Band 6+: Many animal and plant species are currently facing extinction around the world. Why is it important to protect all species? What are the main causes of this decline in biodiversity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

There are more animals and plants are facing extinction across countries nowadays. This essay will discuss the importance of protecting biodiversity and the reasons of its decline.

Protecting animals from extinction is crucial because the absence of one species in the environment can ruin the food chain among specieses, which may suffer other animals. For instance, rats are often recognised as a pest in farmlands, farmers often kill them with poison, traps, or electric cables. This approach will benefit the farmers, while the predators of rats, such as snakes and eagle, might be disadvantaged. As a result, they will have shortage of food and their population will also decline. In addition, saving endangered trees and plants also equally important because they can be a home for some specieses, such as bees or squirels, and become the main source of food for wildlife.

The key reason of the declining number of particular animals is that the lost of habitats due to deforestation. There are many people or companies open new areas for houses and properties in countrysides by destroying trees in its surrounding. This development happens because the population in urban areas have been too crowded and there are only few lands available with high prices. Thus, opening new areas becomes the most popular alternative, as it is more affordable and easier.

In conclusion, keep all species alive with their habitat is really important to save the food chain among animals and to avoid the widespread of extinction. And the main reason for the declining population of animals is that the deforestation done by humans for personal purposes or businesses.

Word Count: 269

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

animals: 6

there: 3

extinction: 3

because: 3

population: 3

areas: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, presenting a position on the importance of protecting species and identifying deforestation as a main cause of biodiversity decline. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The importance of protecting species is discussed mainly through the food chain example, but the explanation could be more detailed and extended. The causes section focuses solely on deforestation, which is relevant but could be expanded to include other significant factors such as pollution, climate change, or overexploitation. Additionally, there are some language inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'specieses', 'the lost of habitats', 'keep all species alive with their habitat') that affect clarity. To improve, aim to provide more specific and varied examples, ensure grammatical accuracy, and develop each point more fully.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas are presented logically, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'For instance', 'In addition', 'Thus') helps the reader follow the argument. However, there are some lapses in coherence, such as the abrupt shift from discussing animal protection to plant protection in the first body paragraph, and the conclusion could be more effectively linked to the introduction. The paragraphing is generally well-managed, but the flow within paragraphs could be improved by more explicit topic sentences and smoother transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary that is appropriate for the topic, such as 'extinction', 'biodiversity', 'food chain', 'predators', and 'deforestation'. There is some attempt at less common vocabulary (e.g., 'recognised as a pest', 'disadvantaged', 'alternative'), which shows a willingness to use a wider range. However, there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'specieses' (should be 'species'), 'squirels' (should be 'squirrels'), 'the lost of habitats' (should be 'the loss of habitats'), and 'keep all species alive with their habitat' (should be 'keeping all species alive in their habitats'). These errors reduce the precision and naturalness of the language. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct collocations and ensuring word forms are accurate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences (e.g., 'Protecting animals from extinction is crucial because the absence of one species in the environment can ruin the food chain among specieses, which may suffer other animals.') and some use of passive voice. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as 'There are more animals and plants are facing extinction' (should be 'More animals and plants are facing extinction'), 'This approach will benefit the farmers, while the predators of rats, such as snakes and eagle, might be disadvantaged' (subject-verb agreement: 'eagle' should be 'eagles'), and 'There are many people or companies open new areas' (should be 'There are many people or companies that open new areas'). Punctuation is generally correct, but the essay would benefit from more accurate use of articles and prepositions. To improve, the writer should review subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure.

Essays On The Same Topic:

See All

The population of some countries is growing rapidly. What are the effects on some people? What can be done to maintain the quality of life for people living here?

In globalized world, in many cities are occuring population growth inceasingly, there are several fundamental reasons that are high quality-education, well-paid jobs, and also more advanced and modern life. In my opinion, a wide range of proactive measures can be implemented by local authorities to sustain the quality of life among elderly residents. On the […]

Band 6+

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities or towns it leaves only old people in the countryside. what are the problems with this issue? what can be done to solve this problem?

A significant surge has been seen in the number of migrations made by people, especially young ones, to urban areas. These farewells often leave only senior citizens behind in the rural localities. This rising issue triggers various obstacles; however, a wide array of solutions is there to address this hurdle. Admittedly, the wider exposure of […]

Band 7+

Some people believe that economic growth is more important than environmental protection, while others argue that the environment should be prioritized over economic growth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that economic growth is a country’s most important goal, while others argue that environmental protection should take priority. Although economic development can create jobs and improve infrastructure, I believe that protecting the environment is more important because environmental damage can threaten public health and long-term prosperity. On the one hand, economic growth […]

Band 8+

Memorization of information by frequent repetition, namely rote learning, plays a role in many education systems. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Repetition plays a vital role to remember some educational information for a log time. Many students of our society apply this method for learning new things in their study life. Personally, I am firmly convinced that there are some advantages of this system, its drawbacks significantly outweigh them. This essay will discuss from my perspective, […]

Band 5+

Many people leave their home country to study abroad nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

In the modern society, the number of international students has been increasing worldwide. While some people argue that studying abroad, and therefore bringing new perspectives into new cultures, is good, while others maintain that it would be better for individuals pursuing education in an unfamiliar country to enjoy the benefits of being a domestic student […]

Band 7+

See All