Opinion

Band 4+: Many cities are replacing cars with bicycles. What are the reasons for this ? Which do you think is better

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Nowadays, many people want cities to be clean and have a sustionable environment. It is widwly believed that a lot of cities are using bicycles instead of automobiles. This problem is becoming increasingly serious. This essay will examine the main problems associated with transports and suggest possible solutions in the ensuring paragraphs.

One of the main causes of this problem is seperating poisonly gas by transports. As a result , they are bringing air pollution and the environment is poisoing. Also, most people have a health issues. A major contributing factor is increasing traffic jam in the larga streets. Consequantly, the traffic accidants are happening in the roads and much people are possing away due to happen serious collisions. For example, according to the researchs 1,19 million people dy in the world about a single year because of road accidant.

To address this issue government should utilize two-wheeled vhicles. This would help to air purification and also they don’t take aup most space in the streets. Another practical significantly approach would be employ public transports and widening roads. As a result, there are not heavy traffics on the highway.

In conclusion, the main reasons numerous cities are substitutings automobiles with bikes due to atmosphere pollution and become traffic jams on the urban streets. However, this problem solved by widening road and use public transports. This solutions are right and useful for everyone.

Word Count: 232

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

transports: 4

cities: 3

problem: 3

traffic: 3

streets: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the topic, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity. The position is present but not consistently clear. To improve, focus on developing each point more fully with specific examples and explanations. Also, ensure a clearer and more direct response to the question of which option (cars or bicycles) is better, providing a well-supported argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The introduction mentions examining 'problems associated with transports' but doesn't clearly state the essay's focus on the reasons for bicycle adoption and a comparison of bicycles and cars. The paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it difficult to follow the main points. Transitions between sentences and ideas are weak, hindering the overall coherence. The conclusion restates the reasons for bicycle adoption but doesn't offer a clear opinion on which is better, as the prompt requests. To improve, focus on structuring each paragraph around a single, clear idea, using topic sentences, and employing transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('seperating poisonly gas,' 'poisoing,' 'possing away') and overuse of simple words. The vocabulary used is not always appropriate for the context, and there's a lack of sophisticated or precise language. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and learning synonyms for common words. Pay attention to the correct usage of words and collocations. Reading widely and actively noting new vocabulary in context can be beneficial. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. There are errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'most people have a health issues' and 'much people are possing away' demonstrate significant grammatical inaccuracies. The limited range of sentence structures and frequent errors make the writing difficult to follow. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review grammar concepts such as verb tenses, articles, and subject-verb agreement. Consider seeking feedback on your writing from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors.

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