Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: "Many students choose to pursue their higher education in a foreign country rather than studying in their home nation. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?"

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Nowadays more and more individuals choose to move abroad for better aducation. I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages as people can face different kinds of problems such as financial berriers or they can make problems with the new people there. And also people are not guaranteed to get successful at studies especially abroad.

On the one hand, there are number of advantages of studying abroad. For example, they can get successful after graduating and start to earn well and be heplful to everybody around maybe even to their own country and culture. People can create and bring up new development which will be very useful in for the future life. Moreover, when a person gets a qualification of their job after studying abroad, they will become useful to every company of thet job sphere as demand for high educated workers is rising gradually. So most parents send their children to abroad by paying the contract fee which then after studying they pay back.

On the other hand, i believe that the disadvantages outweigh the disadvantages. Firstly, when people get to new atmosphere they have to adapt it, and this step when people face difficulties. New house, new friends, new sphere can change everything. So they mostly have pproblems with the locals there as not everyone is friendly as others. Furthermore, there is most common problem “financial berriers”, when person qualifies to abroad in some situations they have to pay the contract fee. So mostly students delay the studies or fully cancel it. Finally, studying abroad doesnt mean u will be always successful, only small quantity of students pass all the exams and get qualification so choosing whether waste money or cancel the studies is on their hands.

In conclusion, while some advantages such as being successful after getting qualification or learning new culture are great on success i still think thet the disadvantages outweigh them as not everyone can pay contract fees and also getting into abroad studies can become challenging and people might quit there.

Word Count: 338

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

abroad: 7

people: 7

there: 5

disadvantages: 4

successful: 4

studies: 4

studying: 4

after: 4

their: 4

outweigh: 3

advantages: 3

qualification: 3

contract: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position that disadvantages outweigh advantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes unclear. For example, the advantages are not fully explored, and the disadvantages are repetitive (e.g., financial barriers are mentioned multiple times). There are also issues with relevance and precision, such as the claim that 'only small quantity of students pass all the exams' without support. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea with clear explanation and examples, avoid repetition, and refine the language for clarity and accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and repetitive phrasing (e.g., 'disadvantages outweigh the disadvantages' in the second body paragraph). The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, making the argument harder to follow. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'On the contrary') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting examples that logically connect.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'qualification', 'contract fee', 'adapt'), but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'aducation', 'berriers', 'heplful', 'thet') and awkward word choices (e.g., 'make problems with the new people', 'bring up new development'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is repetition of key terms. To improve, expand your vocabulary with synonyms and more precise academic expressions, and proofread carefully to eliminate spelling mistakes. Use collocations naturally, such as 'face financial barriers' instead of 'financial berriers'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. For example, 'there are number of advantages' should be 'there are a number of advantages', and 'doesnt mean u will be always successful' should be 'doesn't mean you will always be successful'. There are also run-on sentences and punctuation errors. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex) with accurate grammar. Review basic grammar rules, especially articles, prepositions, and verb forms, and proofread your work to correct errors.

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